MASS MISCALCULATION
by lolmyster42
Summary: Aaron never had an easy life. Then again, the life of a Saint is never easy. Especially when your put in a coma. He failed to save one universe... can he save another?
1. Chapter 1

**MASS MISCALCULATION**

**Episode 1- I'm where!?**

You know, I never really imagined a coma like this would be just so… boring. Just floating in blackness. Would have been nice to have a lucid dream state with some girls, but ah well… the only thing I really have is my memories. I never really was much. Just some loser guy who hung out with his loser friend. We basically grew up together. And I guess it's not surprising how we got into this life. He killed his first person in the third grade, I tortured my first in the fourth. Hell, after we miraculously passed high school, we basically were roommates in the same crummy apartment. Then we're walking down the streets one day, just minding our own business, when we get caught up in the middle of a damn gang war, and being the sociopaths we were, managed to join the Third Street Saints. Then one thing lead to another, we went from being a lowly street gang in a crummy run-down church into pretty much the best gang in Stillwater. What happened after that… I got no clue. My friend basically after our crazy adventure invites me on this boat while he's talking to this oh-so-special VIP, then the boat explodes. And I've been in a coma ever since. Wonder if he's still in one… ah well, the point is… I'm still floating in darkness… wait, what's that light…?

Aaron awoke from the coma, looking to see he was on a hospital bed in a hospital. He heard A LOT of explosions and shouting going on outside. He groggily got up from the bed and went to the mirror by his bed. He was deathly skinny, _'Probably from being in a coma for god knows how long…'_ he thought, and saw he still had his pale skin, and still had his sharp yet handsome, he always told himself, young face, complete with the anime-style cyan hair he could never get rid of. _'Ah jeez, how do I still have this? I like the blue, but the spikes, man… they're not my style…' _along with his blue eyes. He also saw all he had on was a hospital gown. He looked out the window and didn't believe what he saw. First off, he was NOT in Stillwater anymore. Also, there appeared what looked like military people in white armor with _laser guns _fighting Mexican wrestlers with regular but heavy guns. "Either I'm still in a coma or I've been asleep for a very long while…" Aaron said to himself as he made his way out into the hospital's corridors. Everyone was running in the hall- patients and staff alike. He shrugged and found his way to the main stairwell, opening the emergency door and climbing up the flight of stairs onto the roof. "Man, this is a tall hospital… and this is a huge city… on fire… whoa, what's that? Well, better hitch a ride!" Aaron yelled as what looked like a weird jet came roaring to him. He shrugged as he jumped off the roof, grabbing onto a wing. "Ugh, I'm gonna be sick…" Aaron moaned as the jet began spinning in an attempt to shake him off as it flew towards a star-shaped island with a giant green statue on it- which was basically a giant man holding a ladle. After what seemed like an eternity of spinning, the jet stabilized as Aaron looked below to see a lone figure fighting an army of soldiers. "Wait, is that… that crazy son of a bitch… well, better not let him hold the spotlight…" Aaron said as he saw his longtime friend fighting the soldiers. He was the same as he remembered him… his favorite dark pal with the black loafers, purple sweatpants, purple jacket and afro with purple sheen… right down to purple eyes. _'I'll never know how he went from being bald to having a natural afro with a purple sheen… that stylist ain't human… wonder if she could have fixed my anime hair… probably shouldn't have killed her…' _Aaron thought as he saw that the pilot had enough and opened the cockpit, tossing a grenade at him. Aaron let go of the wing and caught the grenade, plummeting towards the ground. "Thanks a lot! Death from above, bitches!" Aaron yelled as he threw the grenade at a clump of soldiers, sending them flying when it exploded. He grabbed two laser rifles that were sent up and planted his feet on the soldier, using his body as a surfboard as he slid towards the only other guy the soldiers were shooting at, Aaron killing soldiers with his own guns. "I have absolutely no idea what's going on… but this is fun!" Aaron yelled as he jumped off the soldier and landed next to the idiot. "I don't believe it… Aaron!? I thought you were in a coma!" he yelled. "Yeah, and last I checked, I was in a different city that was vacant of laser soldiers-" he was about to say his name, but he cut him off. "Before you say my name, Julius died, so I'm boss now" he said as they shot soldiers, Aaron handing Boss a laser rifle. "Julius died!? Okay, start explaining!"

"We ain't got time for this!"

"Oh, we got time!"

"Okay, fine! Julius betrayed me, I killed him, Saints became social icon, Gat died, we got stuck here, arranged for you to get moved here, military people called STAG trying to kill us, crazy lady has Viola, Shaundi, and Burt Reynolds on statue and is gonna blow them up, we gotta save them!"

"Ah… wait, who's Viola, why's Burt Reynolds here, and Gat died!?" Aaron yelled as they went up the stairs towards the base of the statue. "I said later! Now I gotta deal with these bombs!" Boss yelled as he pulled out a pulsating gun, firing shockwaves of air through the barrel as it propelled bombs planted on the ground into the water. "Whoa… I want one" Aaron said. "Later damnit, c'mon, cover me!" Boss yelled as he ran around the statue, Aaron covering him as he blasted the bombs off of the island. They came to the feet of the statue when Aaron saw a girl soldier holding some woman he's never seen before. "Damn, she's got Shaundi!" Boss yelled. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold it, that ain't Shaundi-"

"Later!" Boss yelled, running forward, but the soldier put a gun to Shaundi's head. "Don't move, Saint!" the soldier spat. "Damnit, Kia…" Boss groaned. "Hey, can I see that for a moment?" Aaron asked, taking the sonic boom gun from Boss. "What are you-?" Boss asked, but was cut off when Aaron charged the gun, aiming it at his feet and jumping, the sonic boom propelling him in the air as he flew towards Kia, kicking her and making her fall to the ground. He calmly walked over and put his foot on her neck, snapping it with a flick of his foot, whistling nonchalantly as he helped Shaundi up. "Okay. I'm pretty sure you're not the Shaundi I know. The Shaundi I know wore brighter clothing, had dreadlocks, and hated pants" she socked him in the gut, making him cringe on the ground. "You're in a coma for five years, and that's the first thing you say to me?!" she yelled at him. He held his middle finger at her as he groaned, "Nice to see you too, Shaundi…" Aaron shakily got up as he saw the boss leave. "Well, guess we better untie everyone" he went over to a man wearing a hat and started untying him. "Much obliged, stranger" he commented as he got up. Aaron immediately recognized him. "Okay, I gotta ask… what's Burt Reynolds doing here?" he asked him. "Why, I'm the mayor of this fine town… and your name is…?"

"I prefer to keep it at Aaron. Hey Shaundi, can you untie the girl with the glasses? I'm gonna go find boss" she nodded as he descended the stairs, watching as he patted the back of a green-armored soldier, saying, "Aw, I love you too, Cyrus" when Aaron ran up to him as they walked away. "So… exactly what happens now…?" he asked Boss. "Well, I was thinking we hit our brothel while I explain things"

"…We have a brothel?"

"You see that giant purple building?" he asked, pointing to one of the three tall, purple building that could be seen across the city. "Your kidding… how exactly did…?"

"Heheh, I'll explain later. C'mon" he said, parked jet. "Let's just borrow this V-TOL" Boss said, sneaking into the cockpit and starting it up, Aaron taking the seat behind him. "So exactly when did you learn to fly a jet?" Aaron asked him. "Eh, I just press these buttons pretty much and it fly's itself" Boss said, raining the V-TOL into the air. "Well, this ougta be fun…" Aaron muttered.

After flying over the city… and Boss accidentally firing the laser on the V-TOL, causing a few cars to explode… they arrived on the landing pad of the building, Boss landing the heavily damaged and fire-ridden V-TOL. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to _avoid _the building…" Aaron muttered. "Shut up…" Boss murmured. "Well, I'm just saying, we're missing a wing, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna… never mind" Aaron said as the V-TOL exploded as they got in the elevator. They went down a couple of floors and arrived in what looked like a suite… complete with full sofa, bar, flat screen, and stripper poles… with strippers. Which Aaron shot. "Dude, what the hell!?" Boss shouted. "You know I don't like this kind of thing…" Aaron said. "You're always saying you like girls…"

"Yeah, girls, not used-up pieces of meet"

"Ugh, whatever…" Boss said as they plopped on the couch, turning the TV as he flipped to Genki's C.E.R.C. "What the… is that you killing mascots? What kind of show is this…?" Aaron asked. "Heh, one where you can really cut loose"

"I missed a lot, didn't I?"

"Man, yeah ya did…"

"Okay… start from the beginning…" Aaron asked. The boss did. He explained what happened after he got out of his own coma and Julius's execution by his hand, the failed bank robbery and royally pissing off the syndicate, right up to Johnny dying and the boss giving a detailed explanation to how he beat the syndicate and STAG. "Okay, I get all of that… what I don't understand is why there's damn zombies on Aripice island…"

"Yeah, there was an incident with a plane exploding and me flying a tank…"

"I feel I've heard that from somewhere…"

"Anyway, speaking of which, the virus is gone and the island is sealed off, but I feel that we can catch up by cleaning up the island"

"Huh… and how would you propose we do that?"

"To friendly fire!" Boss shouted, leading Aaron to the elevator and sending it down to the parking garage, where he unveiled to him the wraith car. Aaron seemed unimpressed at the black with neon red/yellow sports car. "Yeah… yellow ain't my color"

"Oh, just get in…" Boss said as they entered the car.

Five minutes later they arrived at friendly fire with the wraith on fire and heavily damaged. "Your driving skills are the same as I remember them, it seems…" Aaron mused. "Just come on…" Boss groaned as they left the car and entered the gun store, the wraith exploding behind them. "This music hurts my ears…" Aaron said as he covered said appendages while Boss shopped. "You get used to it… here" Boss said, tossing him a blue chainsaw. "…Just one?" Boss groaned and tossed him another blue chainsaw, Boss only equipping one purple chainsaw. "Alright, now that we got some zombie-grade weapons of mass destruction, we need to get you some cloths" Boss said, gesturing to Aaron wearing nothing but the hospital gown. "Alright… we need a car though. Here's one!" Aaron said, bashing the window of a limo parked next to the building across from them, hot-wiring it as Boss drove towards the cloths store. "And here we are- planet saints!" Boss said, gesturing to the saints-style cloths store. "No way… we have our own line of clothing stores? And energy drinks?" Aaron asked upon seeing two people outside wearing saints-flow suits. "Yeah, don't try that stuff…" Boss said as they stashed the 'saws in the backseat and walked into the store. "Ah, here we go. Nice to be back in blue…" Aaron said, using the money lent to him by Boss to by a saint's styled blue pair of tennis shoes, bright blue jeans, a cyan V-neck with a purple saints dues-de-fleur taking up the entire middle and backside, and a pair of blue-lensed sunglasses with purple arms. "You and blue…" Boss muttered as they got back in the limo, driving to the island and Boss driving them over the raised ramp, landing in the middle of the streets as the zombie's started to gather. They both got out of the car, wielding their chainsaw's. "Just like old times?" Boss asked as he revved his chainsaw. "Just like old times" Aaron agreed, revving his chainsaw and laughing maniacally as he ran into the incoming zombie hoard, chopping them apart with his chainsaws. To be honest, the Boss only killed about fifteen zombies in the hour that followed, letting Aaron just let loose on the zombie's, some of his methods at dispatching them making Boss cringe. When he was done, he rejoined the Boss, cackling like a maniac. "Oh man, I haven't had that much fun since we hit that gang hideout with nothing but machetes, am I right?" Aaron asked Boss. "Yeah, it's good to have you back, man. Look, I gotta get the crew together, this city is Saint's territory now. But while you were cutting I got a text from Kinzie about where the surviving Luchadores are. Care to take care of them…?"

"Aw, and miss your big speech as you flip off America? Sure, why not…"

"Then you'll need these" Boss said, handing him a pair of fully upgraded D4THBLOSSOMS, which Aaron immediately took. "Ooh, shiny, and I get to test out these superb high-rate death machines on Mexican wrestler wannabe's? Where?"

"In the MurderBrawl arena, last stand thing I guess, I dunno… you know the way there?"

"It's a big-ass arena-looking building, how hard could it be?" Aaron asked as he got in the limo and drove off. "Wait, come back! How am I supposed to get off of this island!? Damnit, Aaron!" Boss shouted.

Aaron smirked as he parked in from of the arena, seeing the three chainsaws in the back. He clipped the smg's to his sides and crossed the two blue 'saws on his back, carrying the purple one. He walked into the building, walking the halls until he came upon the upper row of seats overlooking the arena. There were about a hundred Luchadores. "Huh… the guns combined only carry a hundred and twenty… oh, what do we have here…?" Aaron asked upon seeing a heavy-looking version, holding some kind of grenade launcher. Aaron smirked as he snuck up behind him, taking one of the specialist's own knives from it's sheath and slitting his throat, getting to work on extracting the explosives from the gun and rigging his body…

"I still can't believe Killbane ditched us in this city!" one of the Luchadores shouted. "I know! Where lucky we survived those STAG _'puta's_! I wouldn't be surprised if the Saints are planning to take us out… wait, Rezno?" another asked as the specialist's body hit the ground in the middle of the group. "Oh, god… what happened to him… wait, hold up, what are those…?" someone asked upon seeing the explosives strapped to him.

"Man, that felt like that time I had to carry that fat dude to that car junkyard into that compacter thing that turns cars into cubes… anyway, time to make some noise" Aaron muttered as he hung from the lights directly above the Luchadores, having rigged and dragged the body along with him and dropped it in the middle of the group. Aaron held the detonator he rigged to his face. "Death from above, bitches!…Again!" he shouted at them as he hit the button, causing the body to explode, killing at least thirty Luchadores in the blast. He dropped down, throwing his purple chainsaw at a group, impaling three and pinning them to a wall, before taking his smg's out and spinning around in a circle, shooting at the same time. When he was out, he saw that only thirty-one remained. He tossed the spent guns to the ground and revved up the blue 'saws, holding one in each hand. A Luchador ran at him, and Aaron slashed him across the chest with a chainsaw, and went to work slaughtering and cutting the rest. When he was done, only one was left, cowering in the middle of the ring as Aaron walked up to him with a chainsaw, the other impaled in a Luchador. "Please, please don't kill me! Have mercy!" the Luchador begged. Aaron put on a sick smile. "Sorry… all out of mercy"

Aaron whistled nonchalantly as he left the blood and body-ridden arena, having hanged the last Luchador in the middle of the ring on the overhead lights using the chain from the chainsaw, getting into the limo as he drove back to the brothel.

"Jeez, what happened?" Boss asked when he saw a blood-covered Aaron. "Got a little carried away. Also, I lost your chainsaws. Sorry" the Boss shrugged and pulled a foot-long silver canister from behind the couch, a handle to either a sword or a whip sticking out of the top. "Look, you know that movie their making about us?"

"Saints in space?"

"Yeah, well look, I gotta go do some casting, and Kinzie managed to find where Killbane's plane was landing… a airport in Mexico"

"Typical irony at it's best…"

"And she also thought it would be ironic if you used fire to kill him. So she made some weird napalm-fuel thing and coated it with a whip fitted with razor's. just light it on fire and it should burn for about five minutes"

"So why aren't we using this as fuel?"

"'Cause whenever we tried the car blew up. You wanna do it?"

"Eh, might as well finish the job… kinda weird doing this when I first wake up, but oh well! I assume you got me a ride?"

"V-TOL on the helipad waiting for ya, homie. Good luck, he's a tough one" Boss said as he left in the elevator. Aaron ascended the stairs onto the helipad, seeing a purple Saint's V-TOL waiting for him. He climbed in and took off, following the GPS marker on the map in the control panel. After five minutes of flying, he heard ringing coming from the glove box and opened it to find a phone. "Hey, surprise phone! This one better not blow up…" Aaron muttered as he put it on speakerphone. "You better not blow up"

"Believe me, it won't. I'm Kinzie, the Boss said he wanted me to walk you through this" A feminine but paranoid sounding voice said from the other side. "Walk me through? Why would I need that? Just land at the airport and use my fire whip to cut up Killbane, how hard can that be?"

"Well, okay mister, 'I know where I'm going', how do you know where to go?"

"Follow the green line on my GPS?"

"Well… which terminal Killbane's plane lands in…"

"The one that has a black and egotistical green paintjob plane?"

"Well… how are you coming back?"

"Well, I'm gonna land this thing, cap 'im, and get back in"

"…Well, you look like you know what you're doing, so I'm just… gonna go. Lighter's in the glove box" Kinzie said, hanging up. Aaron looked in the glove box and picked up a Saint's-style purple lighter. "Huh, cool"

Killbane was seething with rage as he departed the plane. Not only had he let that insignificant whelp best him in MurderBrawl, he had actually taken his mask. And what had he done? Fled, and let his henchmen tear the city up. Which failed. He would have to start anew in Mexico. "Wait… what's that?" Killbane muttered as he saw a purple V-TOL fly down from the sky, skidding across the runway, sending sparks as it stopped fifty feet away from him. A person he had never seen before exited the cockpit, carrying a canister with him, and stopped ten feet away from him, dropping it and pulling on the handle, withdrawing a twelve-foot long whip… fitted with razors. "Ah… so who are you?" Killbane asked. "I'm the long-lost friend of the Boss… just woke up from a coma. You must be Killbane" Aaron explained. "Ah, he mentioned you… another moth, much like him, but lost in the darkness, searching for a light…"

"Save the metaphors. I'm here to kill you, much like I did to your boys at the arena"

"So you're the one that killed them…"

"Yep, and I think it's time I wiped the Luchadores off of the face of the Earth… _Eddie_"

"No-one calls me Eddie!"

"Yeah, yeah, you can bitch about him taking your mask in Hell when I'm done with you" Aaron said, taking out the lighter and flipping the top, lighting the whip on fire. He put the lighter away in his pocket and swung the whip at Killbane… who held his right forearm up, letting the whip wrap around it. "Hah! What will you do now?"

"This!" Aaron shouted, tugging on the whip with one hand, watching as it sliced through his forearm, severing it. "Agh! What the-!" Killbane shouted as Aaron slashed him across the chest with the whip. "Yeah, bitch! How do you like that!? Huh!? Wait, huh?" Aaron asked as the whip's flame went out. "…Damnit, Kinzie!" Aaron shouted as Killbane rushed him and hit him in the face with his remaining fist, causing Aaron's body to drag across the ground for twenty-five feet. "Agh… that stung…" Aaron groaned as he picked himself up as Killbane ran towards him. "Aw shit, whaddo I do, whaddo I do, uh… oh!" Aaron said as e sprinted towards the canister with the homemade napalm. He turned a valve to cause the fluid the leak, and poured a little on the ground, then threw it at Killbane, who caught it. "Lights out, Killbane" Aaron muttered as he lit his lighter and threw it on the napalm trail, igniting it and going to the canister… which caused it to explode with enough force to throw Aaron so far back he only stopped when he hit the V-TOL. Aaron looked to the spot Killbane was standing and saw only a smouldering crater from where he stood. "Huh… well, so much for a grand final speech…" Aaron muttered as he groggily got into the V-TOL and flew off.

"Kinzie, your napalm's shit. You said it would last five minutes!" Aaron yelled at Kinzie over the phone as Steelport came into view. "What!? It should have!" Kinzie yelled from the other end. "Well, it didn't. it only lasted about one minute"

"Well, at least your still alive"

"…What?"

"That formula was experimental. I pulled it from some military files STAG had, I'm actually pretty surprised you didn't blow up"

"…What!?"

"Oh, quit bitchin', your still alive. The boss wanted to see you, Pierce, and Shaundi at the brothel, and he wanted me to tell you. Out" with that, she cut the line. "…Crazy bitch…" Aaron muttered as he landed the V-TOL.

When he exited the elevator, a woman he'd never seen before walked past him and went down the elevator. Aaron found Boss and the others sitting down on a couch, a load of gear in hand. "Yo, what's happening?" he asked. "Some pretty messed up stuff happened while you were gone" Boss said. "Oh for the love of… I was only gone for a day!"

"Yeah I know, look, you know MI6?"

"Got no clue what that is"

"Secret military organization. I assume you know what that means?"

"We gonna be poppin' military deadbeats threatening to put us in prison?"

"No"

"Okay, so when are we- wait, what?"

"You know Cyrus?"

"The leader of STAG? The old dude in the green armor?"

"Yeah, him, anyway… he kinda got kicked out of America, and somehow got into contact with terrorists… who have a nuclear missile. And I agreed to help them stop him"

"…So let me get this straight… I'm gone for a day… and you agree to help the military?"

"Yeah, I kinda figured you wouldn't be too wild about this…"

"Damn straight I'm not!"

"Look. You get to use military hardware to murder terrorists. And we save America. How can you say 'no' to that?"

"…Fine, give me the damn gear…" Aaron muttered as he opened suitcase, with what seemed like some kind of gray armor with the word "Saints" on the back with the fleur on the chest, complete with a weird helmet with a cyan visor. "…The hell is this?" Aaron asked. "This is what Asha calls the 'zero-saints-thirty' armor. The visor is usually navy blue, but I had yours made a little… bluer"

"I'ma just assume the weird-looking lady that walked out was Asha, but you got me a gray suit?"

"Nah, they mixed up packing. This is yours" Boss said, handing him another suitcase. When Aaron opened it, he saw the same helmet as his, except the visor was navy blue, but the suit underneath was different. The armored patches were painted a cyan blue, the Saints logo and fluer purple, and the rest of it being an onyx black instead of gray. "Okay, I can roll with this. What's the plan?"

"Kinzie already worked it out. We suit up, fly to the drop zone, pop Cyrus, then if you want go to Stillwater to hit a Freckle-"

"You know I hated that restaurant. Food was horrible… alright, let's go kill some Pakistanians!"

"Arabians"

"Whatever" Aaron said as they grabbed their gear. When they were done, Aaron had on the modified suit, Boss the default suits, and Pierce and Shandi with default suits, minus the helmets, all of them being equipped with silenced smg's. they rode the elevator to the roof to a awaiting helicopter piloted by Kinzie. Now that Aaron got a good look at her, she was pretty paranoid looking with that weird blonde hair style of hers. "Hey guys, why is the helicopter starting, but I don't hear anything?" Aaron asked, but saw no-one looked at him. It took him a minute to process the information, but it hit him like a brick. "Your frickin' kidding me… they can't hear me and I can't hear him… oh well, this helmet is too cool to pass up anyway" Aaron shrugged as they got in the helicopter. He pulled his phone out and started looking up on the web for web comics and you tube videos, plugging the phone into the helmets speakers, and hours later he saw they were in a desert, oil wells below them, and Pierce and Shaundi arguing… not that he heard. Eventually they landed in a clearing where they met up with Asha, and they started walking as the helicopter took off. It was nightfall when they reached a cliff overlooking the terrorists stronghold… and immediately the Boss ran downhill, killing a dozen terrorists while Aaron whistled nonchalantly as he walked down the hill. They jumped into a manhole into a tunnel, and reached a large concrete room with a few terrorists in it… which Boss and Asha quickly killed. Blast doors opened to another storage rooms and more terrorists flooded the room… and the Saints started shooting. After awhile they went into another hallway with explosions happening all around them, one knocking the Boss down while a terrorist rushed Aaron with a knife. Aaron took his own knife and slashed the terrorists hand off, grabbing his knife and plunging both into each side of his head, twisting them and snapping his neck, then pulled his knife out, leaving the other in his head. He looked to see the others look at him with wariness, but the Boss nod approvingly. They continued to another storage area and Aaron shot some red barrels, which exploded and took out most of the terrorists, Boss shooting the rest. He went up the catwalk and found Pierce and Boss positioned on each side of a door, getting ready to breach it. Aaron kicked the door open, and saw Cyrus close a gate behind him and run, Aaron shooting the rest of the terrorists. He walked in and saw a terrorist sitting in a chair away from them with headphones on, listing to music, oblivious to the carnage around him. Aaron ripped the headphones from his head and strangled him with the cord, and saw Asha killing a terrorist that rushed Boss as he ran after Cyrus. Aaron ran to the catwalk and saw as Boss shot Cyrus, sending him into a vat of red chemicals, which turned blue as he fell in. as Cyrus melted, his hand reached from the vat holding a detonator, which he hit, and Aaron felt a rumble from under his feet. And saw the Boss run off. Aaron ran after him and saw as he jumped on the nuclear missile outside as it went up. Shocked, Aaron ripped his helmet off and saw the others approach. "The hell is he thinking!?" Aaron yelled. "Boss is sacrificing himself to save America…" Shaundi said. Pierce had a tear in his eye as he said his goodbye to boss on the radio. "Give me that!" Aaron yelled as he ripped the mic from Pierce's ear, and spoke into the mic, "Boss, you crazy son of a bitch! Speaking of which, I don't care, you make it out of this, and we're hitting that Freckle Bitches!" Aaron yelled into the mic, and saw as the missile blew up. "Aaron, watch out!" Shaundi yelled as a piece of debris from the missile flew down, hitting Aaron square on the forehead, and everything went black as he passed out and slumped on the ground.

Aaron didn't know how long he was floating in the blackness, but he saw the light again eventually, and went towards it. When he woke up, he was on a hospital bed yet again, and saw a familiar face sitting in a chair next to him. "Benjamin King… it's been awhile" Aaron said as he shook the hand of the former Vice-Kings leader's hand. "Wassup, playa? Doc's said you were showing brain activity and would probably wake up from the coma, so Boss sent me to see you out"

"I was in another coma? For how long?"

"Shit man, like, five years"

"Fuck me!… ugh, I'm getting too old for this. What's next, Boss becomes president?" Ben started twiddling his thumbs and whistling, and Aaron face-palmed. "Your. Fucking. Kidding. Me. How the hell did the Boss become president?"

"I'll let him fill you in on that playa, now come on" Ben said, beckoning him towards the door. Aaron ripped the IV drip tube out of him arm and got up from the bed, and saw he was in the cloths he bought when he woke up from his first coma. "Why am I in these?" Aaron asked as he and Ben walked out of the hall. "Oh, Boss called a favor to the nurses here to put your cloths on when you showed you was wakin' up"

"…So he had complete strangers fondle my body while I was unconscious…?"

"You didn't see how hot they were"

"I'm gonna kill him. Whoa, limo…" Aaron said as they walked outside to see a awaiting limo. "Course, Playa! You on the president's payroll, we need some premium wheels" Ben said as they entered the car and a man in a suit got in the drivers seat and drove them off to the white house. "So… Boss put me in a hospital in Washington?" Aaron asked Ben. "Well, he figured when you wake up you should be close to the white crib"

"…He renamed the white house the white crib?"

"He did a lot of renovations on the place… we're here" Ben said as the limo pulled up to the white crib… and a awaiting president in a purple suit. Aaron walked up to him and threw his hands up. "I'm asleep for five years and you become president?" Aaron asked. Boss shrugged. "Eh, well, I got the adoration of America, one thing lead to another, I got elected, what are ya gonna do? Come on, I gotta talk to a bunch of angry people"

"You tried to change the pledge of allegiance to under you didn't you?"

"What, me? No-o-o… maybe" Boss said as he, Aaron, and Ben walked into the white house, and started walking through the halls, press everywhere, and soon Pierce joined in, and showed Ben a file he had. "This is a problem" Ben said. "It's not a problem" Boss retorted. "You alienated part of America"

"I alienated crazy people"

"You couldn't resist, could you?"

"Jesus, not you too"

"This is a problem"

"I keep trying to explain that, but the president won't listen"

"Poverty is a problem, Apartheld is a problem. This is just a couple o-"

"Here's the latest approval poll"

"We lost twenty points. We can get them back"

"They're AT twenty points"

"I'll admit that's a little lower than anticipated"

"So you agree you have a problem"

"Nope, you do. You're the communications director. Fix this"

"Can you give me hundred percent employment?"

"No"

"Will you get married?"

"Fuck no"

"Then I think we're in trouble"

"King, can you have this naysayer assassinated?"

"Not when you say it publicly"

"You were more fun as a gang leader"

"We have a country to run… 'fun' isn't part of the equation"

"Where's a septic truck when you need one?"

"The hell's going on?" Aaron asked when they're argument was over. He didn't understand a word they said, and was pretty sure he saw a live tiger and a stripper pole as they walked through the white crib. "Oh, Aaron, I gotta go to this conference, can you talk to Keith?"

"Keith who?"

"David" Boss said as he walked off. Aaron didn't know what he meant until the man himself walked up to Aaron. "The hell… what is Keith David doing here…?"

"President hired me to be his advisor. The president is trusting you on this, so here: We only have enough clout right now for one major bill, not both. So whaddya want me to push forward? Do you want the president to be the president who cured cancer, or should he solve world hunger?" Keith asked, holding two folders up. "He's trusting me with this? Uh… cure cancer, cure hunger, cancer, hunger, cancer, hunger… give me a minute…" Aaron said, pointing back and forth to each folder, he was there for ten minutes when he heard explosions. He looked to see people running and screaming away from the conference room. "Uh… world hunger!" Aaron shouted as he ran into the room. It was in shambles, the roof was gone, and he saw what looked like… a giant, gear-shaped spaceship, red lights peppering it's surface. He saw the Boss armed with a pistol. "The hell is that!?" Aaron asked. "White crib's being attacked by aliens, they jacked Shaundi and Kinzie!" Boss yelled. "I told you this would happen!" Aaron yelled.

Years ago, high school dorm

Aaron was working on a term paper while Boss was reading a magazine. "So… what are you going to do when aliens attack?" Aaron asked Boss. "Pfft, like that's ever going to happen"

"Oh really? Well, if it does, then I get to smack you upside the head"

Present, white crib

Boss was rubbing his head when he and Aaron ran into the hall. "Man, I said we should have a gun every five steps. Is that too much to ask?" Boss asked as a secret service agent was launched into a wall and a alien appeared, shooting them with some weird, alien laser gun. Aaron was kinda creeped out by them. They looked like human, sort of, but with completely black eyes and gray, scaly skin, three fingers, and black, bone-like spikes on their heads. Boss quickly popped the alien and they ran into Asha. "There you are! Thank god your alright!" Asha said. "You okay? where's Matt?" Boss asked. "Matt who?" Aaron asked. "Oh, Aaron, your awake, good. Matt's upstairs, trying to find out what's happening"

"What is happening?"

"All out war by the looks of it" Asha said as Boss and Aaron ran into the oval office. Boss ran to a bust of Johnny Gat's head and flipped up the top half, pressing a hidden button and making hidden shelves appear… full of guns. "I'm meeting up with Matt. I'll be in touch via comm" Asha said as she ran off. "Watch you ass" Boss said as he loaded up on guns, first grabbing a one of the two rifles that popped up, then went to the rest of the guns. Aaron grabbed the other rifle and looked to see a Japanese-looking sword hung on the wall. "Whoa… I'm gonna need this!" Aaron said as he snatched the katana, holding it in his right hand and the rifle in his left. "Okay, let's go!" Boss said as they ran out. Keith ran from the other side of the hall. "Come on! This way!" he shouted to them. The ceiling exploded as a red beam of light flooded the room, making Keith float up. "What the fuck-" Keith shouted as he flew up, abducted. "Damnit, they stole Keith David!… wait, this sounds familiar…" Aaron said as a couple of aliens came from where Keith was. Aaron shot one and stabbed the other through the head. "Come on!" Aaron shouted as they ran through the hall and back into the conference room, then into the opposite hallway to find Keith and Ben. "Pierce! Be, we gotta bounce!" Boss shouted as the ceiling exploded, the red light once again coming, this time abducting Keith and Ben. "Shit, Playa! Save yourself!" Ben shouted. "Fuck that… save me!" Pierce shouted as they flew up. "Oh shit, that be a lot of aliens…" Aaron said as he looked into the next hallway to see about thirty aliens… which he ran into, shooting fifteen of them, and killing the rest with his sword, chopping heads off and impaling. When he was done, Boss ran ahead of him. "Hey, nice job, but save some for me! These alien fucks are gonna pay! Snatch my cabinet, I'm gonna rip your motherfucking head off!" he said angrily as they heard another explosion, and ran up some stairs to a room where a British guy Aaron had never seen before floating up, Asha holding his hand and anchoring him. "Oh no! oh no! oh no!" British shouted. "Matt, hold onto me!" Asha shouted as she and 'Matt' both started floating up. "Asha! Matt! GODDAMMIT!" Boss shouted as he pulled a shotgun out and blasted four aliens that flanked them. "You pissed off the wrong POTUS!" he shouted. When he was done, they ran into a room with a hole in it, letting them see the carnage outside. "Holy shit… how many of these guys are there?" Boss asked, then held his sleeve up to his mouth, activating a radio and speaking into it. "Burt to Ernie. Burt to Ernie. Activate south portico defenses" he said as a cannon of some sorts jutted from the ground. _'Jeez, how many secret defenses did he put in?'_ Aaron though as Boss slid down a railing into the seat of the cannon. "Let's do this, you badass motherfuckers" Boss said as he aimed the cannon. Aaron jumped on a missile. "Shoot it! I got a idea!" he said. "Okay, your funeral!" Boss shouted as he shot the missile, Aaron riding it. He saw a alien ship fly into view, and threw his sword, smashing the window and flying in, kicking what seemed to be an extra-sized and extra-armored alien. Aaron picked up the sword and swung it at his head… the sword breaking. "Well, fuck…" Aaron said, throwing the sword away. The alien chuckled. "Why is it you humans enjoy leaping so much? We haven't been properly introduced… I'm Zinyak" the alien said. "Aaron, friend of the president, and your killer" Aaron said. The alien looked shocked and stepped back. "No… you were in a coma, you weren't supposed to wake up… well, I'll make sure you don't" Zinyak said, red energy forming from his hand as Aaron floated up, and was suddenly flying into the walls, eliciting a wet smack every time he did so. "Agh! Fuck! Your so dead! That's smarts!" Aaron shouted as Zinyak punched him and the red energy ceased, sending him onto the floor, unconscious. All Aaron saw was blackness as he fell unconscious.

When Aaron's eyes fluttered open, he saw he was in a house of some sorts… with weird, 50's music playing from nowhere. "Man, my head… wait, what the 'BEEP'. Wait… why was there a beep when I said 'BEEP'. Man, what the 'BEEP'!" he looked down to see he was wearing brown loafers, tan slacks, and a yellow sweater vest. "'BEEP' me to the 'BEEEEEEEEP' to next 'BEEP' week! Man, 'BEEP' this!" Aaron shouted as he saw a window, jumping out of it and sprinting away. "Yeah, that's right, you queer 'BEEP' city- ow!" Aaron shouted as he hit the edge of the city, hitting an invisible wall of some sorts, and began pounding on it. "Man, what the 'BEEP' is this 'BEEP'!?" he shouted, punching the invisible wall. It started cracking, crack forming in the air with red light seeping through it. Red spheres appeared behind him, and aliens started pouring through it as Aaron punched a hole through the wall. "Do not let him escape the simulation!" the voice of Zinyak said over the music. "'BEEP' you, Zinyak!" Aaron shouted, jumping into the glowing hole. He went through what looked like a red tunnel of some sorts before it opened him up, dropping him into a penthouse of some sorts. "Agh… what the… this looks a lot like the penthouse of the crib Boss had that he described to me… the hell!" Aaron shouted as a purple fist came his way and he rolled to the side, jumping to his feet to see a man-sized saints flow soda can, complete with arms and legs. "The hell… Pierce!" Aaron shouted upon seeing Pierce fighting a couple of the soda cans, and Aaron ran over to help him. "Damnit, get away from me!" He shouted as he punched a soda guy away. "Yo, Pierce! The hell you doing fighting soda!?" Aaron shouted as he threw a can out of the window. "Aaron, am I glad to see you"

"Okay, and why is bad marketing fighting us?"

"BAD? Our own IP is attacking us, and your making jokes? These things are trying to KILL ME!"

"Well, maybe they're just trying to replenish your electrolytes, you ever think of that?"

"Okay, let me stop and ask them if they're just trying to serve me a cold, refreshing, drink" Pierce said coldly as he kicked a can into Aaron, which he punched to the ground. Suddenly the ground rumbled as a high-pitched scream filled the air. "Ugh, what was that?" Aaron asked as he slammed a can into the wall. "Oh shit. Come on, we need more guns"

"Hey, you just took the Boss's line!"

"And there's a reason for it. Now MOVE!" Pierce shouted as they ran up the stairs. They entered a room and Aaron saw a crate as another shriek filled the air. "Load up over there" Pierce said. "Whoa whoa whoa, mind explaining that scream?" Aaron asked as he rummaged through the crate. "You don't want to know. But we'll need more guns"

"Man, there just some smg's in here…" Aaron said, abandoning the crate and dropping down the stairs, seeing a workout room and taking a dumbbell, using it as a club against the soda's. "Fine, there's more by the bar, go!" Pierce shouted. Aaron shrugged, dropping the weight and licking the soda-blood off of him as he casually walked to the bar to find another crate. While he was pulling a shotgun out, he saw a giant, yellow hand reach over the penthouse. "Pierce… giant fucking hand!" Aaron yelled as he started blasting the soda's. "Oh I know… good, more guns" Pierce said as he threw Aaron a auto rifle. "Man, what the hell's this gonna do against that?"

"Hey, there's always the RPG's out by the pool deck"

"Bitch, you just telling me this now?"

"Cause I didn't them blowin' up the crib, okay!?" Pierce yelled as they ran to the pool deck. Like before, Aaron rummaged through the crate, pulling an RPG out, and saw a giant version of the soda cans appear, about as tall as the statue of Joe Magarac, and with glowing red mouth and eyes. "Look out, here comes Paul!" Pierce yelled. "A giant fucking killer soda can, and you name him Paul!?"

"Hey man, does it matter? Shoot them rockets at him already!" Pierce shouted as Paul shot red lasers from his eyes, which Aaron and Pierce narrowly avoided. "Oh really!? Lasers? FUCK YOU PAUL!" Aaron shouted as he aimed and shot the RPG, the rocket hitting him square in the face. "Haha, how do ya like that, Paul!? Bring his purple ass down!" Pierce yelled. Paul reared back and smacked them, sending them flying. Aaron hit a helicopter shooting Paul, and shot the pilot, pushing his body out and flying over to the building Pierce got smacked onto, to see him shooting the regular soda cans on the roof. "Hm, what does this do?" Aaron asked, pressing a button on the throttle that caused the miniguns to fire, killing the sodas. "Get in!" Aaron shouted as he landed the helicopter next to Pierce, prompting him to get in as he flew towards Paul. "What the fuck is this shit? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!? Why are you flying towards him!?" Pierce screamed as Paul stood on top of the penthouse. "Well, I'ma hankerin' for a cold beverage, and there happens to be a giant vending machine trying to kill us. Hold this" Aaron said, gesturing for Pierce to hold the throttle as Aaron picked up a few C4 charges from the back. "I'm coming for ya, Paul!" Aaron shouted as he jumped out of the helicopter, landing on the top of Paul, and setting to work on planting charges on his tab. "Your crazy, Aaron! But still, kick his aluminum ass!" Pierce encouraged from the helicopter. "Gladly, 'cause I'm pretty thirsty"! Aaron yelled, grabbing onto the tab as he set the charges off, flipping it back with Aaron holding on as it opened the top of Paul, Paul screeching. "Oh, that's right, pop that top!" Pierce yelled. "…Yeah, I'm outta soda puns" Aaron said as he ran up to the hole, jumping into Paul. As Aaron was swimming in Paul, he saw what looked like a giant, purple, beating heart at the center, which he shot with his shotgun.

"Man, where is he?" Pierce asked as Pierce as he was dodging Paul's laser eye's, when suddenly, Paul stopped, shrieked loudly, and exploded, purple saints flow spraying everywhere as what was left of his can fell down, and Aaron was sent flying from the propulsion, landing at the base of the statue of Joe, Pierce landed next to him, getting out of the helicopter and laughing madly, patting Aaron's back. "Man, you did it! Hahaha! I'd like to see THAT soda serve the kids now! Now that were not being killed, the hell you wearing?" Pierce asked upon seeing what Aaron had on. "Ugh, well… I think we're in some virtual reality, of sorts, and we were all put in one. I think I was put in a 50's sitcom, I dunno, I bounced the second I heard the music, then wound up here" Aaron said, wiping the soda off of his sweater vest. "Huh, well that makes sense, I guess… wait, what's that?" Pierce asked upon seeing a blue rectangle, about door-sized, appear before them. "Looks like a door or gateway… maybe it's a failsafe 'cause we broke the sim?" Aaron asked. "The hell would I know? That sounds like something Kinzie would know" Aaron walked up to the gateway, touching it, his hand going through, but not coming out the back. "Eh, nothing ventured, nothing gained… Pierce, can you come here for a second?" Aaron asked, Pierce walking over. "Yeah, what?" he asked. "Find out what this does" Aaron said, pushing a screaming Pierce inside the gateway. "Well… looks safe, I s'pose…" Aaron said upon not getting a reaction from the gateway, and jumped in.

Aaron awoke on a cold metal ground, naked and covered in some red goo. He sat up and saw he fell out of some pod, and saw he was in the middle of some tunnel, hundreds of other pods surrounding him. "Ugh… I feel I've seen this from somewhere before…" Aaron groaned as he walked forward, spotting a door and walking towards it. It opened when he got near, and saw an alien staring at him from the other side. "You! What do you think your doing!?" it asked, before pointing it's weapon at him, but was soon shot. "Yo, Aaron! Up here!" he looked up to see a naked Pierce holding a alien laser rifle on a catwalk as he jumped down to his level. "Pierce! Thank god you… we don't have cloths" Aaron said suddenly. "Yeah… we should go, zin are catching up" Pierce said as Aaron picked a laser rifle up and they ran away. "Seriously? Zin? Named after that Zinyak dude? Talk about egotistical…" Aaron commented as they ran to the edge of a balcony, overlooking what looked like debris from Earth. "No way… those motherfuckers blew up Earth… Earth girls… my track records… the Saints… the web comic I was reading… gone…" Aaron said as zin started flooding from behind them. He turned to look at them, murder in his eyes. "I'm gonna kill you all!" he yelled, throwing the rifle away and running towards them.

Boss was walking to the bridge of the ship, boredom in his eyes. Ever since Kinzie and Keith had stolen the ship and rescued him from the simulation, he had gone to work to free his fellow Saints. So far, all he had rescued were Asha, Matt, Shaundi, and Ben, but when he went to Pierce's simulation… it was broken and empty, as was Aaron's when they eventually found it… which happened to be the same one the Boss was in. he saw Kinzie hard at work with the control's, and went up to her. "Yo, anything turn up?" he asked her. "Oh, nothing, just that other than Pierce and Aaron breaking out by themselves and fighting for their lives in the same place you were in, nothing much" a look of shock overcame Boss's face. "Why didn't you tell me about this!?" he yelled at her. "You were too busy collecting clusters to upgrade your powers, I though you couldn't be bothered to rescue your friends"

"Find them now, Kinzie!"

"This is for blowing up Earth! Now who will draw Twokinds!? The art was getting good! Fuck you for blowing up Mark and Tom!" Aaron yelled as he ripped the head off of a zin, and tossed the body aside, beating another to death with the head. He reached into the chest of another and pulled out two ribs, using them to kill the other zin. When he was done with his rampage, he saw the bodies of at least a hundred zin, bodies spilling over the edge, and a shocked Pierce. "Uh… you okay, bro?" he asked him. "They killed Twokinds and Markiplier… I'll never forgive them. Ever. I'll hunt them all down, and I'm gonna personally rip those spikes out of Zinyak's head and gouge his eyes out with them. Then I'm gonna rip his legs off and break his arms off with them. Then I'm gonna put his mutilated torso into that damn simulation, reliving his worst nightmare for the rest of his natural life. You hear me, Zinyak!? Your dead!" Aaron shouted, yelling at the top of his lungs, and heard a rumbling behind him, turning around to see a capitol ship of some sorts. It turned around, the backdoor opening as Boss came into view. "Guys! I can't believe you… oh, man, what happened?" Boss asked upon seeing the zin bodies. "Aaron didn't take Earth getting blown up so well…" Pierce muttered when he stepped onto the ship. "Now I'll never know if she was really pregnant… or if it was a boy or a girl… or how it ends… I'm gonna kill them all…" Aaron murmured as he stepped onto the ship. Boss shrugged as the cargo door closed, and the ship speeding off.

After getting dressed in one of the suit's the ship had, Aaron met the Boss getting ready to enter the simulation in the weird, zin bathroom. "So… we're gonna totally annihilate the zin, right Boss?" Aaron asked him. "No… Zinyak forced them to do what they did. I'm gonna kill Zinyak and take the empire over"

"Boss… they killed…"

"I don't give a fuck about Nyteblade, I already have Matt crying over it"

"The hell's Nyteblade?"

"Nevermind, look… Gat's alive?"

"Heh?"

"We found him in the simulation, and I'm gonna spring him, and you need to familiarize yourself with the simulation and stock up, so when I leave, Matt's gonna help you since Kinzie's helping me"

"You keep mentioning Matt, who the hell is Matt?"

"Miller"

"The Brit dude who tried to kill you?"

"Look, he changed, just… just cope with him, a'ight?"

"…"

"A'ight, Aaron?"

"…Fine… any zin I see are still fucking dead, though" Aaron said as Boss walked out, and Aaron yelled, ripping one of the weird alien toilet's out of the floor and throwing it against the wall. After a few minutes of calming down, he went outside of the bathroom and walked to the room with the computer monitors and sim beds, seeing Boss in one and everyone else looking at him. "Alright, I'm a little on edge… but I'm coolish"

"Well, it's just… you did kill all of those zin with your bare hands…" said a young British guy Aaron presumed to be Matt said, who had a couple of bruises on his face. "Wha happened to your face?" Aaron asked. "Oh, uh… little disagreement. Anyway, the Boss said I had to explain the simulation to you, so go into the simulation, I'll contact you when you head in" Miller said. Aaron shrugged and stepped onto one of the sim beds, closing his eyes as his consciousness was jettisoned into the simulation.

When Aaron opened his eyes, it looked like he was in Steelport, and he was in front of one of those weird gateways… and still in his sweater vest. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Aaron heard the voice of Matt say over the simulation. "Yeah, I hear you… weird, it's like your voice is in my head… anyway, where's the nearest cloths store? I need to get out of this thing"

"I'll mark the nearest cloths store on your map, and I'm giving you access to the Boss's vehicle cache, just open the hub"

"the wha?"

"Ugh… spread your hands out to open it" Aaron did so, and opened it. "Okay, I see a fuck-ton of options, which one is the vehicle cache?"

"it's in the phone section" Aaron opened it and saw the vehicle cache, and started browsing through the vehicles. "Hm… uh… er… so many choices… ooh, what's this?" he asked upon clicking what looked like a black tank with red lights, the tank spawning next to him. "Uh, that's a zin tank… it's not really that fast…" Matt said. "I don't care, I need to blow off some steam" Aaron said, hopping into the tank and driving off, shooting whatever he saw. "Ah, yes, the Boss said that you were quite upset that Earth blew up… I myself was devastated that Josh Burke died, now there won't be any new Nyteblade…"

"So sad…"

"And he said that you were a fan of that Twokinds web comic…"

"Your treading on dangerous waters here, Matt…"

"I myself never really liked it, I mean, who can possibly make a worse-"

"Matt, badmouth that comic one more time, I'm ripping your fingers off and throwing them in space when I get out of here"

"…Duly noted…"

"I'd rather not talk about it anymore…" Aaron said as he pulled up to a red clothing store. "Are you serious? Planet Zin? That motherfucker jacked our stores…" he muttered as he walked into the store, emerging with the same cloths he had as the cloths he bought in the real Steelport when he woke up for the first time. "Okay, Matt, I need to get strapped. Gun store?" Aaron asked. "No need. I've been working on a special program for awhile, and have come up with this: the Omni Multipurpose Gun"

"O.M.G?"

"Just hear me out, okay? Basically it has the matrix code for all firearms in the simulation so it can transmute-"

"English, Matt…"

"It basically turns into any gun in the simulation and into their fully upgraded form"

"So… a Swiss army gun?"

"Yes, if you want to put it so bluntly… here, give it a try" Matt said as what looked like a black cube with a pistol grip appeared into Aaron's left hand. "…This is a damn box, Matt"

"Oh, would you just… it's connected to your mind! Just think of a gun and it turns into it as long as the simulation has it!"

"Okay… a Saints-purple black hole gun" Aaron said as the cube unfolded, twisting around and forming into said gun. "Holy all that's holy… I love the O.M.G! wait… by any chance, do you have a sword?"

"Hah, Boss figured you'd want that… here" Matt said, as a blue laser sword appeared in his hand. "Believe it or not, Asha created this one, and gave it to the Boss as soon as he did some tasks for her"

"Whoa… the Lazor Razor…"

"You mean laser"

"Hell no, Matt… I mean lazor…"

"…Well, the zin have simulations that they formed from ancient Chinese customs they viewed on Earth"

"Go on…"

"Basically, I can run these simulations through your head…"

"Uh-huh…"

"…And they'll basically turn you into a ninja with that sword"

"Hook me up, baby!" Aaron shouted as the programs ran through his head. After five minutes of head pain, he gasped and held his head. "Agh… hey, I know how to use this now… heheheh, Matt, got anything else?"

"You can go to image as designed if you want" Matt offered. "What that?" Aaron asked. "It's a cosmetic surgery clinic" Matt said as Aaron started walking towards the said building across from him. He walked in, and paid five hundred of the cache money Matt downloaded into his account, and was shown a menu on how he wanted his face to look. "Uh… you know, I always hated this hair, but I think I'll keep it. But there are two things I wanna change…" Aaron said, before changing his sex appeal from forty-two to a hundred, and making it so he had the body of a sixteen year old instead of a thirty-five year old, and kept the height the same, and walked out of the building as his face was altered. "Ahh! I feel so young! Artificially, at least! Matt, any other li'l presents for moi?"

"Well, I can always download the superpowers into you…"

"Bullshit"

"Nope, the Boss managed to unlock them, and fully upgrade them. I can download them into you and run the training programs through your head"

"Matt, I can already tell we're gonna be best friends" Aaron said as the training simulations ran through his head a second time and the powers downloaded into him, his body briefly glowing a blue aura. "Oh-ho-ho, man I feel BADASS! I gotta try this!" Aaron said, jumping hundreds of feet into the air, his body glowing blue as he glided over the city. "And one more thing: I added a special bonus to your attire. Press the small blue button on the right arm of your glasses, and it'll turn your cloths into your custom zero-saints-thirty suit and helmet" Matt said. "Oh, I gotta see this!" Aaron said, pushing said button as his cloths were replaced with the colored armor and the helmet appearing. "Alright, just press the button on the right side of the helmet to- wait, what going on? Why are zin here!? Asha, help me!" Matt said, screaming, until the mic cut out and Aaron landing on a building. "Matt? Matt, what the hell's going on!? Matt!" Aaron yelled as a red hole opened up in front of him, the form of Zinyak coming out, slowly clapping. "Bravo, bravo! I must say, I didn't expect you all to fall for my trap so easily"

"Trap…?" Aaron asked coldly. "Ah yes, when your sociopath of a friend went to save Gat, I easily found your ship: as we speak, all of you have been captured. I'm personally going to see you die, you being Earth's mightiest warrior. I thought you would never awake from the coma, so I focused on dear old Johnny"

"Your afraid of me"

"That doesn't really matter, as we speak, your body is being digitized, and you'll be stuck in the simulation… it's already happening" Zinyak said as Aaron's feet started disintegrating. "Agh! Er, we'll see 'bout that!" Aaron said as he used the last of his feet to jump over Zinyak, into the hole.

Aaron's eyes shot open in pain, and he saw he was on a operating table of some sorts, and a laser was firing into him, disintegrating him. "Agh! Why you little-!" Aaron shouted, his hand shooting out and grabbing the laser gun out of a nearby zin as he started shooting random machines. "Hey, don't let him shoot the Tran dimensional-generator!" A zin said, pointing to a weird, pulsating blue cube. Aaron was almost completely gone, only his arm with the gun and head remaining, the rest of his body blue, digital dust. With the last of his strength, he shot the cube, causing the cube to explode and a blue wormhole of some sorts to open as the rest of Aaron's body turned to digital dust… the vortex sucking it in, then closing.

While the dust was flying through a blue tunnel, the dust formed into Aaron, but his young, simulation version, complete with his gear. "Ugh… man, I feel sick… where am I…!?" Aaron shouted as he flew towards a white light, pressing the button on his glasses to form his armor and helmet as he flew through.

There were four things Aaron noticed when he flew out of the wormhole via a white hole appearing in space, and closing as soon as he flew through. 1- he was in space, but thanks to his helmet, he at least had an oxygen supply. 2- there was a giant, five-armed space station floating in space. 3- spaceships in battle. 4- a giant, cuttlefish-like robot attacking the station. _'Where the hell am I? aw, screw it, questions later, badassery now!'_ Aaron thought as he landed on one of the arms, a couple hundred feet away from the giant robot. It was a pretty big robot, too… at least two _kilometers _in length, alone, with multiple, mechanical tentacle-like arms. It seemed to notice him, and emitted a extremely loud WHAAAN! As it screeched at him. _'Hm… wait, I got my simulation gear, I wonder…'_ Aaron thought, flinging his hand at the robot, a ball of fire coming out and hitting it. _'Alright! Got my powers! Now, then… to kill colossus here and figure out where I am'_ he thought, activating his cyan lazor razor, and turning the O.M.G into a alien RPG, and sprinting at a super breakneck speed towards the robot. _'Time to see if Matt's ninja training worked!' _Aaron thought, super jumping up to the robot and swinging the sword, cutting off one of it's huge legs. He landed on another leg and stomped on it, dislodging it as he telekinetically picked it up, jumping off of the robot and flinging the detached appendage at it, hitting it and flipping it over, the underside revealing many smaller tentacle-arms. He landed at the end of the arms, running to the other side while shooting and slashing the tentacles off and jumped to the other side of him. Aaron sprinted at the robot as it whaned again, firing a large, red laser at him, which was nullified upon hitting the shield the sprint created as he dug the razor into it and once again sprinted to the other side of it, and ripped the sword out. The robot was still for a moment… before a orange line appeared, vertically going through the robot as it was split in half and uttered a last, deafening whan as it died. Aaron deactivated the lazor razor and O.M.G and holstered them, then went to the other side of one of the giant five arms on the station he was on, seeing each arm had an entire city in each. Aaron shrugged, jumping into the city below, and landed in what looked like a restaurant. He deactivated the armor, turning into his cloths, and saw he still had his sixteen year old look. He shrugged and casually walked away, and saw a bunch of officers of some sorts trying to calm citizens, dozens of human-sized, weird, three-fingered and one eyed robot corpses littering the ground. The strange thing is, not al of them were human. Some were weird… bird things, Aaron couldn't really describe them, weird lizard things, and weird blue and purple chicks. "…Ooookaaay… that's not weird and creepy at all…" Aaron muttered as he walked through multiple halls, and eventually came to what looked like a docking bay of some sorts. At least, it was a room full of ships, so Aaron assumed it was a cargo bay. He saw one of the weird lizard things cowering behind a desk, and Aaron walked up to him. "Hey, uh, excuse me… where am I?" Aaron asked the frightened alien. He raised his head from the desk. "Uh… docking bay C?" the alien said in a high-pitched voice. "No, I mean, where am I ship wise?"

"Um, the Citadel, where else?"

"…Where exactly… is Earth…?"

"What are you talking about? The Citadel isn't even in the same solar system as Earth!"

"…**I'm where!?"**

**A/N- Ah, I'm back, baby! Back with another super-powered teen showing off his skills in another universe! Some of you may be wondering why I use a blue vortex whenever I send someone to another universe. Well… you'll see. I plan to write this and four more stories before I do something special… -evil hand rub and laugh-. Ahem… anyway, if you didn't play Saints row III and IV, then you will be clueless and think I wrote the story of the first half in five minutes. Because all of that from Burt Reynolds to Earth blowing up did happen in the game… which makes me sorta regret spending 70$ on buying the Fourth… but still a good game! Anyway, I know this is a little shorter then what I usually write, but it'll get longer… maybe. I sorta just improvise as it goes. Anyway, chapter two comin' soon! Cya! **


	2. Chapter 2

**MASS MISCALCULATION**

**Episode 2- New crew**

Aaron didn't know what to say. A Citadel… in space!? Was this lizard dude kidding!? _'How is this possible… unless… that cube I shot… teleported me here… man, Boss is so jealous right now…' _Aaron thought as the lizard thing waved a three-fingered hand at him. "Uh… hello? You-you okay? Hello?" he asked… at least Aaron assumed it was a he. "Wha? Oh, yeah, uh… I'm fine… sorta. Hey, can I get out of here?" Aaron asked him. "Well… on account of the geth attack, and… whatever that thing was, I'm pretty sure all space ways are closed. If you want, I can book you a flight for when they open. Just hold out your omni-tool, please" the lizard instructed, a orange hologram-thing appearing around his left arm. "…My omni-what?" Aaron asked, confused by the hologram on the alien's arm. "Your… Omni-tool… wait, it says here you don't have one… how do you not have an Omni-tool!?" the lizard yelled at him. "Whoa, chill, lizard dude! So what if I don't have one!?"

"Why I never… I'll have you know I'm a salarian, thank you very much!"

"…What's that?"

"You realize I can have you arrested right now for harassing me?"

"Yeah, dude, the last cop that tried to arrest me got his head shoved into a substation, I'd like to see any cop try to arrest me"

Tali was walking towards the shuttle bay, her head still shaking from the events that transpired. After her, Garrus, and Shepard had killed Saren… twice… they were getting ready to kill Sovereign… before it suddenly stopped upon seeing some random human in strange armor next to it. They all thought it was some crazy human at first… until he pulled out some strange, blue energy sword… and literally chopped the reaper to pieces in under five minutes, then had run off. Everyone wanted to meet the human that had slain the reaper. Something like that was supposed to be impossible. With a sword, no less, and some strange rocket launcher. And did they see how fast he moved? No-way did he NOT have some kind of augments. Or she. No-one really knew that, either. Shepard sure seemed eager to meet him/her. Anyone who can take down a reaper with a sword would be wanted on the Normandy. Said commander was talking with the council in the presidium. He was bent on his quest to scour space to stop the reaper's… and her and the rest of the crew were willing to follow him. She shook her head, and entered the bay… to see a human harassing a salarian. "You know, your really starting to piss me off, you know that? So what if I don't have a glowy thing?"

"Omni-tool! And I will NOT be harassed by some child!"

"Child!? Why I oughta…" the human she was looking at sure seemed strange. He had a sharp, handesome face, skinny build, she couldn't see his eyes on account of the glasses,, about sixteen years of age, and seemed to be about as tall as Shepard. The strangest thing was his hair. The way it was spiky like that… and blue none the less. "That's it! I'm calling C-sec!" the salarian yelled. Aaron pulled the lazor razor out and held it to the salarian's head. "Call whoever that is, and I start cutting horn thingy's!" Tali shook her head, can't believing this human, then her eyes widened. _'Wait… blue sword!'_ she thought-yelled, before running up to the two.

Aaron was about to chop the salarian's horns off when another strange alien ran up to them. She seemed human at first, then he saw her weird, bow-like legs, and the fact she had three fingers. She seemed to have a full-body suit on, with the helmet being a purple visor, two glowing, white eyes and a barely visible nose the only thing Aaron could see beyond the visor. She grabbed his arm and started pulling him away. "Oh, uh, sorry, sorry! Er… Ryan… always is like this! I'm really sorry, it won't happen again!" Tali yelled as she dragged Aaron away. He noticed her voice sounded a little garbled… probably thanks to the filter on her mask. "What the- okay lady, I dunno who you are, but let me go!" he yelled. The salarian sputtered, then shrugged, returning to hiding under his desk. Tali pulled Aaron into an unoccupied hallway and let him go, Aaron deactivating and sheathing the razor and throwing his hands up. "Why? You couldn't let me cut one horn off? Just one?" he asked her. "Okay, I don't know who you are, but you should know that I need to talk to you"

"Look, I don't even know what you are, so… no"

"What do you mean, 'I don't know what you are', you racist _bosh'tet_!?"

"I don't know what anything is! I don't even know what you just said!"

"I- wait, your serious? You don't know what a quarian is?"

"I don't know anything! All I know is this: I become a street gangster. Go into coma. Wake up. Save America. Get into another coma. Get abducted by aliens. Kill giant soda monster. Escape. Earth get's blown. Shoot weird-ass cube thing as I'm getting vaporized. Wind up here and kill giant robot octopus. That enough for you!?" Tali just stared at the most-likely crazy human. Half of what he said didn't make sense. But she only needed to know one thing. "So… you are the one that killed the reaper?"

"I don't remember killing a giant, hooded skeleton with a death scythe"

"No, I mean… the robot cuttlefish!"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I totaled it"

"Good. Can you please come with me?"

"Can I ask why?"

"You see, I'm part of a crew under the command of Commander Shepard"

"…Losing interest…"

"The thing you killed, a reaper, is part of a race that wants to annihilate all organics"

"…Interest back…"

"You see, it's almost impossible to kill them. The Citadel fleet couldn't kill _one_"

"Sounds like a pretty weak fleet…"

"You single handedly killed one. With a sword"

"Yeah, well… I'm a boss like that"

"Yes, well… Shepard wants to kill all of the reapers. Or at least stop them"

"Noble goal to save all life, I suppose…"

"We could really use someone like you on the crew… would you rather have C-sec after you?"

"Yeah, uh, remind me, who are they?"

"Citadel security"

"Hm… get arrested… have space adventures… uh, hm… well… I guess I'll do it…"

"Really? Just like that?"

"Well, I'm not doing anything else… so yeah. I'd be bored otherwise"

"Well… okay then! Come on, we need to see Shepard" Tali said, prompting him to follow her as he lead her to an elevator and rode it down. "…These elevators are really slow" Aaron said after five minutes. "Tell me about it…" Tali muttered as it came to a stop in the Presidium. The doors opened to reveal a man Tali immediately recognized. "Shepard! Uh… how did the council go?" Shepard shrugged. "As good as it could get. Who's this?"

"He's… uh, I never really got your name"

"Aaron" he answered. "Yeah. Anyway, Shepard, he's the one that killed that reaper" Shepard looked dubious. "Really…? This kid?" Aaron sighed, then pressed the button on his glasses, forming his armor, and making the alien RPG and razor appear. "Yep. This kid" Aaron said. Shepard stepped back, shocked. "Oh, um… wow, it's an honor! My name is Commander Shepard, and I'm captain of the _Normandy_" he said, shaking Aaron's hand as he put the O.M.G away. "Uh, Aaron… former Saint, I guess" Aaron said, gesturing to the fleur symbol on his chest. "Saint… what kind of military are you?" Shepard asked. "Pfft, hahahah! Oh man, military! Oh… your serious. I'm not military"

"But… where did you get gear like that?"

"Gift from a friend"

"And the skill it required to kill the reaper…?"

"Another gift from another friend"

"…Well, in any case, we can swap stories later. I assume you wish to join the _Normandy_?"

"Yup"

"…Right… we'll need someone with your skill if we're going to stop the reapers. You sure your in?"

"Sure as I'm ever gonna be"

"Alright, then it's settled. We should probably… keep your existence away from the council… for now. Come on" Shepard said, pressing the button to make the elevator go up, Aaron deactivating his armor. "…Yeah, I'm not waiting around in this thing" Aaron said, using his razor to slice a hole in the elevator, jumping out and running up the shaft into the shuttle bay. "Did he… just run up a wall…?" Tali asked. "…Well, this should be an interesting crew member…" Shepard muttered.

When Aaron reached the top of the airshaft, he walked back to the shuttle bay. When he got there, he was approached by the angry salarian again. "You again! I swear, if you don't stop har-AHG!" he shouted as Aaron cut one of his horns off with the razor, then formed a stun gun, stunning him and hiding his convulsing body behind the counter. Shepard and Tali ran up to him. "Hey Aaron! Wait up!" Tali called. "Oh hey guys, what took ya?" Aaron asked. "What took us!? You ran up a wall! Care to explain that?" Shepard asked. "Oh, uh… gift?" Aaron asked weakly. Shepard crossed his arms. "Really? I'd like to see a friend that gives biotics like that"

"Bi-what?"

"Biotics… you don't have any?"

"Don't even know what they are"

"That's impossible! You must have _some _implants!"

"Can we just go to your ship?" Aaron asked. "Sure thing… but this isn't over…" Shepard said as they walked away. When they're backs were turned, Aaron saw the salarian try to climb over the counter, and shot him with the stun gun again, before holstering his weapons and walking after them. "…Anyone else smell cooked salarian?" Shepard asked. "Nah… must be in your head" Aaron smirked.

When they reached the ship, Aaron was dubious of it. Shepard assured him the _Normandy _looked bigger on the inside, but it was smaller than most of the ships he had seen, having a sleek, elongated body, with four huge engines in the back. One of the bird things Aaron had seen walked up to them, clad in blue armor and some weird hologram over his eye. "Shepard, glad to see your back. Who's this?" a probably he asked. "Hey, Garrus. This is Aaron… the soldier that killed the reaper" Aaron held his hands up in defense. "Whoa whoa whoa, Shepard, I'm not a soldier"

"Your not?"

"Naw… more of a… freelancer, I guess"

"Well, you must be one hell of a freelancer to kill Sovereign. You wouldn't believe what we had to go through to kill just someone under his control… Garrus Vakarian" Garrus said, shaking Aaron's hand with a three-fingered one. "You believe me that easily? It took me a whole five seconds to convince Shepard…" Aaron said. "Well, I've been through a lot with him. If he believes you, I believe you. Shall we head into the Normandy?" Garrus asked. "Yeah, cleared everything up with the council. We're set to go" Shepard said as they boarded the _Normandy_.

When they arrived in the CIC room, Aaron was a little shocked. There were crew members everywhere, manning orange terminals or just working on parts of the ship, all clad in similar uniforms that reminded Aaron too much of the suits his old crew wore on the stolen ship before he wound up here. "Jeez… you got a pretty big crew… where's the funny guy?" Aaron asked. "What do you mean?" Shepard asked. "Well… it's just I need someone with a high-optimistic spirit to pal around with. Please tell me you have one…"

"You'll definitely be looking for Joker"

"…Come again?"

"Our pilot, Jeff 'Joker" Moure. I think you'll get along with him just fine" Shepard said. "Oh… okay, different Joker, I'll be sure to give him a visit"

"You want to get out of those cloths? They aren't exactly modern…" Shepard noticed. "The cloths stay with me" Aaron snapped. "Okay, fine. I'll let you familiarize yourself with the crew. You need me, I'll be in my cabin" Shepard said, before getting in and disappearing in the elevator. Aaron shrugged and walked around the map, walking down a small corridor, terminals with people manning them waving to Aaron, which he waved back to. He eventually arrived in a very complicated-looking cockpit to see a normal-looking man sitting in a chair as they took off for space, seeing nothing but blackness and stars as they sped through space towards a weird, spinning thing. "What's that?" Aaron asked. "Your kidding? Really? No? Are you serious?… Your serious, aren't you?" Joker asked with a jovial-sounding voice. "I'm kinda new here…" Aaron said. "Jeez, I know you're the new guy, but you've been living under a rock? That's a mass relay"

"…What's it do?"

"Oh, you'll see. Hang on tight!" Joker shouted as the ship flew up to it, the relay seemingly engulfing them in electricity as it slingshot them through space. Aaron felt a little nauseous from the feeling. "Heh, first-time users always feel like that. Anyway… how do you not know what a mass relay is? They're kinda common knowledge" Joker asked. "Oh, well… I don't get out much. I'm Aaron" Aaron said, shaking Joker's hand. "Agh! Watch the arm!" Joker shouted, cringing and holding his arm. "Ah jeez, what, do you have brittle bone disease?"

"Yes!"

"…Really? Ouch, sorry man, I didn't…"

"It's fine. You get used to your bones being made out of glass"

"Heh, I guess. Man, Killbane could have killed you with one finger, dude"

"Killbane? What's a Killbane?"

"Oh, Luchador dude I killed"

"Luchador? As in Mexican wrestler? Why'd you kill one of those?"

"He was the leader of a Luchador gang I had to end that were causing problems"

"Right… and how'd you kill him?"

"Fire razor whip"

"Riiiight… and who are you again?"

"Aaron… the guy that killed the reaper…"

"Yeaaahhh… well, I gotta fly the ship, so… see ya around, Aaron" Joker said, waving him off. Aaron shrugged and walked to the elevator, intending to head to the floor under him to the mess hall, but accidentally hit the button to go to engineering, and shrugged as it went down. When the doors opened, Aaron walked out and explored the deck, finding Tali from before hard at work at one of the terminals. "'Sup… you?" Aaron asked. "Hm? Oh, hey Aaron. It's Tali, by the way. Why'd you stop by?"

"Oh, I hit the wrong button on the elevator and decided to explore while I was down here. Why I every terminal here orange…?" Aaron asked. Ever since his encounter with Zinyak and the alien's love of the color red and orange, he hated both. Severely. "Why does it matter?" she asked. "I. hate. Red. And. Orange. Anyway, I was wondering… do you have like… I dunno… some book on alien species?"

"You mean the codex? Why?"

"…Well… I don't really know anything here…"

"Define 'anything'"

"I don't know what Garrus is"

"What the… he's a turian!"

"You see, I don't know what that is"

"…Hold on a second, hold this" Tali said, handing him a data pad and firing her Omni-tool up. "Okay, what's this?" Tali asked, causing an image of a blue alien chick to appear on the data pad. "Uh… blue chick"

"Asari…Okay, and this?"

"Giant, scary lizard dude"

"Krogan…This…?"

"Danny Divito… okay, seriously, what the hell is that thing?"

"It's a volus. And this?"

"Male Kinzie"

"Who's that?"

"Scary hacker girl I know"

"Oh, how is she?"

"Probably dead"

"…Oh… sorry"

"Eh, it's okay. She kinda scared me anyway"

"Anywaaay… this is a batarian"

"Who the hell names these things?"

"Themselves. Do you know what this is?"

"I know I'm gonna kill one the second I see one"

"You probably shouldn't do that… it's a vorcha…"

"Jeez, even their names make me wanna kill them…"

"You know what, can I just see your Omni-tool?"

"Ah boy, not this again, I don't have a glowy thingy!"

"Wait… how do… you not… have an Omni-tool…?"

"They don't have them where I came from!"

"That's impossible… unless… _keelah_, you weren't kidding when you said you were from a different universe, were you?"

"Not really, no"

"This is amazing! I mean, there always were theories on cross-dimensional travel, but to see it for myself… how did you get here?"

"I shot a cube"

"That's it?… you shot a cube…?"

"Yep, that pretty much sums it up"

"…Wait, what year was your universe in?"

"I think it was… uh… 2018... Ish?"

"Wait… in this time period humans had very low tech at that time… what was yours like?"

"The most advanced thing we had at the time was a jet that shot lasers"

"Than how does that explain how you got here? And you powers and gear?"

"Getting to that. Everything was peaceful… until the zin came…"

"Zin?"

"Aliens who invaded us, and captured the best and the brightest of us, putting us in virtual simulations of our own hell's…"

"_Keelah_, that sounds horrible… what was your like?"

"It was horrible… a 1950's sitcom…"

"…Seriously?"

"Hey, don't judge! A place where my curses were bleeped with no violence and cheesy outfits. And it wasn't the worst. My friend Pierce was stuck in a world where giant soda cans were trying to kill him. Anyway, we escaped… then found out Earth was blown up"

"What…?"

"Yeah, atomized. Nothing left. Anyway, I hopped back into the simulation, hoping I could break it from the inside, where a friend of mine, Matt Miller, hooked me up with the gear and powers. I was in a simulation, so it wasn't real. But the zin found us, and digitized my body. Right before I was completely digitized, I shot the cube, and my digital dust was sucked into a wormhole thing. Then my simulation body reformed, and I wound up here"

"Wow… so, you know what it's like to lose your homeworld"

"Whatcha talking 'bout, Tali?"

"You see, we quarians used to have a home planet, until we built the geth… artificial constructs we could use as slaves… but they were becoming self-aware, and we decided to destroy them, but it was too late: in the resulting war, we lost our home planet to them. We wander in a fleet of ships, confined for our entire lives in these suits, due to our weakened immune system. A cold for us is a death sentence"

"Jeez, that's harsh… well, at least your planet isn't molten debris in space"

"Yeah… we're hoping to reclaim it someday, but from the looks of things… that won't happen for awhile"

"…So… awkward moment aside… you think you could hook me up with one of those Omni-things?"

"Well, I'm sure their might be a spare one around somewhere. Ask Shepard. And… keep the date pad. You can read about the different species, and, well… everything else"

"Yeah, thanks… seeya, Tali" Aaron said as he waved off, Tali waving back, and smiling a little in her suit.

'_Jeez, I didn't realize how serious everyone here is… ooh, there's Garrus. He better not be morbid too…' _Aaron thought as he came to the mess hall, seeing Garrus sitting at a table, Aaron sitting down with him. "Aaron" Garrus greeted. "'Sup, Garrus?" Aaron asked. "Oh, nothing much. You know, the usual: drinking away my sorrows and calibrations"

"Calibrations?" Aaron asked, a confused look on his face. "Yeah, the guns on the _Normandy _always need to be calibrated. It's a time passer" he said, his mandibles flaring in what Aaron assumed was a dreamy fashion. "…I have a feeling you have a weird fetish with calibrations…" Aaron muttered. "Do not!" Garrus yelled, a flustered look on his face. "Uh-huh, yeah, anyway, I was bored, so… wanna talk?"

"Actually, I was wondering, can I see your sword?"

"Huh?"

"Well, it's just that a sword that can cut a reaper apart… well, the implications are endless. New mining tools, new knives, possible upgrade and more calibrations to the cannons…"

"Jesus, here, just look at it!" Aaron yelled, activating and giving him the blade. Garrus's eyes widened as he studied the blade, chuckling in his gravelly-like voice. "Sprits, what did it take to get a blade like this?" he asked in awe. "It was kinda just given to me"

"What anyone wouldn't do for a blade like this… is this blade made of pure plasma?"

"Hell if I know, could be made of plasma, could be made a blue saints flow, why?"

"It's just that the entire Citadel fleet couldn't even scratch the damn reaper… and you cut it apart in minutes. I was just wondering what substance in this universe could actually do that"

"Uh… computer code?"

"Alright, stop kidding around, I was wondering… would you care if I borrowed this"

"Very"

"Oh… it's just… turian labs would be very interested in this…"

"If you think your taking the only lazor razor in the universe to be experimented on and turned into super weapons, your sorely mistaken"

"The only in the universe… where did thing even come from?"

"Friend made it"

"Must be a pretty high-up friend… this thing is amazing…" Garrus said, handing the sword back. "If you think this is amazing, I got this cube that turns into a bunch of other guns"

"…Show me…" Aaron complied, taking the O.M.G out and turning it into various guns, Garrus not moving. "You okay…?" Aaron asked, concerned. "….So many calibrations must have been made to that gun…" Garrus muttered.

"And you believe this guy?" Shepard asked Tali as they waited in the elevator. "Well, it makes sense, Shepard. I mean, look at everything from the way he speaks to what he wears to his weapons: he acts like people from that time, dresses in cloths no-one even sells anymore, and has tech beyond what we have: face it, he's not from this dimension"

"Don't forget the fact he can run up walls… yeah, you're right, that kind of tech is hard to keep under wraps, and I think that if swords like that were made here, we would have seen them" Shepard said as the elevator arrived at it's destination, and they walked into the messhall to see a discomforted Aaron and a dreamy-looking Garrus. "Uh, Shepard… I think I broke Garrus…" Aaron said weakly. "What did you do…?" Shepard demanded. "Nothing! I just showed him my O.M.G and he flipped on about calibrations"

"The O.M.G?" Tali asked. Aaron sighed, holding the cube out and turning it into the all-rapid fire cyborg pistol, a rapid-fire, sleek, black small machine of death. "…You showed him a cube that turns into a gun?" Shepard asked. "Oh, it's much more than that! Do you have a firing range of sorts?"

"Right this way" Shepard said, beckoning for Aaron, Tali, and Garrus to follow him to the elevator.

After an incredibly long elevator ride, they arrived at a targeting range, a dozen virtual human-shaped targets appearing. "Okay, let's see what you got" Shepard said. "Well, I got my cyborg pistol…" Aaron said, shooting all the targets with the extremely rapid-fire gun while more targets spawned. "Whoa, wait, is that an old projectile human gun? With gunpowder?" Tali asked. "What? They still kill"

"Good luck finding ammo for that here"

"Actually, I think Matt designed this so it has unlimited ammo. Must be a simulation hack he did"

"Is there something I'm missing here?" Garrus asked. "I'll tell you later" Shepard said. "Anyway, I also got the disintegrator gun, which vaporizes any target with one shot" Aaron said, forming said gun and vaporizing the targets. "There's a bunch others, but my personal favorite, and great and parties, is the dubstep gun!" Aaron said, forming a back gun that looked like a advanced techno-radio of sorts. "Wait, dubstep gun?" Tali asked, sounding incredulous. "Yep- industrial dubstep with the power of explosive wubs"

"Okay, there's no way that thing shoots explosive music"

"Just watch me" Aaron said, charging up the gun and firing it, industrial dubstep music coming from the gun as purple and blue streams and projectiles flew out of the gun with each beat, each one exploding when they connected with a target. They all looked at the gun in shock- Tali actually liking the music, reminding her a little bit of the music at Flux. He powered the gun down and turned it back into a cube, smiling coyly at them. "So… what do you think?" Aaron asked. "…I can't even see how that's possible…" Tali gasped. "You think that's amazing, wait 'till you see me shoot fireballs out of my hands"

"What?" she asked as he shot a fire blast at the targets, setting them aflame. "What kind of biotics are those?" Garrus asked as Aaron patted said turian on the back as he walked away. "I think Tali can fill you in, I got some reading to do on this data pad here, so we can talk later" Aaron said as he went inside of the elevator, pressing a button to send it upwards.  
Aaron was in the messhall again, sitting at the table while reading the data pad to find out what the history, species, and current technology was, and had to say, was surprised. Based on what he had read from the reapers, they were machines from millions… billions… possibly trillions of years ago… coming back when organic life was at it's pinnacle, only to exterminate them. It seemed sick. It seemed like what the zin had done to humans from his old universe… only this was on a galactic scale instead of a planetary one. Hell, Zinyak most likely destroyed other planets before he got to Earth. But still, these reapers… they needed to die, and Aaron was happy he had shown them he can easily cut apart one of them. Based on what he read, it was theorized no race had ever killed _one _reaper. He took out one single-handedly without breaking a sweat. Aaron, Shepard… hell, everyone on the _Normandy _were the only ones in the entire galaxy taking this seriously. They were literally all of the galaxy's only hope. _'…I failed to save my Earth… I won't fail this one'_ Aaron thought as Shepard approached him. "So, what do you think?" Shepard asked. "I say… I can't wait 'till I get to cut apart another reaper" Aaron said with a sick smirk. "Hah, that's the spirit!" Shepard chortled, then said, "Hey, if it's not too much to ask, can you… come to the med bay with me?"

"Why? I'm not injured or sick"

"Well, you obviously have some implants that make you the way you are. I just want to the good doctor to analyze you, see what makes you so strong"

"So what? You can make everyone on this ship like me? That's kinda selfish, Shepard"

"If everyone had implants like you, we could decimate the reapers"

"It won't work anyway- I don't have implants, these powers were downloaded into me"

"Can you just come with me anyway?"

"Pfft, whatever, man…" Aaron sighed as he was led to the medbay across from them. They entered and Aaron saw an aged woman with white hair working on a terminal, who saw them enter and smile. "Oh, you must be Aaron! I'm Dr. Chakwas, and I'm the _Normandy's _med officer. Shepard expressed his concerns with your apparent augments, now, if you would just please sit down here…" the doctor said, gesturing to a operating bed, to which Aaron shrugged and sat down at, his legs dangling over the edge. Chakwas nodded, pulling her Omni-tool up and scanning him, then frowned. "Hm, that's strange… it's saying that your not even… wait, let me just try to…" she said, wheeling an medical instrument in front of him, the machine humming as it scanned him, Chakwas wearing a now shocked face. "This… this can't be… Aaron, can I see you arm…?" she asked. Aaron shrugged, giving her his arm as she took a scalpel. "Hey, what are you- ow, that kinda hur- WHAT THE HELL!?" Aaron shouted as she cut his arm, and instead of blood flowing out, blue light leaked out of the slit she made in his forearm, hundreds of small, blue, square pixels leaking out of the cut, before the pixels sealed the wound, the cut seemingly regenerated. "…Aaron… what was that…?" Chakwas asked with a shaky voice. "What was that!? That's what I want to know!" Aaron yelled. He looked over at Shepard, who looked to be in heavy thinking, before he activated his Omni-tool. "Hey, Tali, can you come up here?" Shepard asked the Omni-tool. "Uh, sure, why?" the voice of Tali said through the Omni-tool. "Just… we have a situation with Aaron… can you just come up?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute" she answered. Ten minutes later, Tali walked in, Garrus tailing her. "Garrus wanted to see what was wrong too. So what's the problem?" she asked. "This!" Aaron yelled, slashing his arm with the scalpel, blue pixels leaking out, then the wound healing. "Spirits…" Garrus gasped. "_Keelah_… Aaron, what is this?" Tali asked. "That's what I want to know!" Aaron yelled. "Chakwas, what did you see on the bio-monitors?" Shepard asked. Chakwas was silent for a moment, with a stunned look on her face, before she answered, "…W-well, it was like… he didn't have anything organic in him… it was like I was looking at the anatomy of a hologram…" Tali put a gloved hand and rubbed the place on her helmet where her chin was, before she spoke up, "Aaron, you said the aliens that attacked you, they said they… 'digitized' you before you came here. Exactly what happened?"

"They turned my body into blue pixels, hoping to trap me in the simulation… and the pixels were sucked into that vortex, forming this body and dumped me here…"

"I have a guess I'd like to throw out: Perhaps… when you were digitized, they were already forming your body in the simulation, and when your… let's say, 'essence' was swept in, your simulation body formed due to what you were going to turn into. I don't know- it's just theory and speculation, but without having the technology they had, there's no way to be certain. But one thing is clear- you're a digital body, Aaron"

"Say wha?"

"Your body is nothing but digital code it seems. Your… quite literally a physical manifestation of digitation"

"Wait wait wait, hold up, that doesn't make any sense. How is it I function like a normal human and have thought if I'm just made of pixels"

"Have you eaten anything since you've came here? Or drunken anything?"

"Well… no…"

"Have you had the urge to… well, go to the bathroom, or any other organic need?"

"Uh…"

"Have you even been breathing?"

"On habit, but… I don't think I need to… but I'm still confused"

"Well, think of it like this: Basically, you function the same way you would in the simulation, but in the real world. In another dimension, I might add"

"Anyone mind filling me in?" Garrus asked, raising a three-taloned hand. "I'll tell you later, Garrus. Aaron, are you okay?" Tali asked upon seeing Aaron hold his head in his hands. "Yeah, yeah… it's just weird… you know, knowing you're a computer program… look, I'm just gonna… go to my room, hit the sack, just try to cope with all this. See y'all later" Aaron said, waving and walking out of the medbay into his room. "You think he'll be okay?" Tali asked Shepard, concern written in her voice. "Well, personally, I don't know what his life was like before this happened, but he seems like a tough kid"

"He does seem young, doesn't he? He almost looks sixteen" Garrus remarked. "I'll… try to talk to him later, I guess. I need to work in engineering, see you all later" Tali said, walking out.

Aaron was sleeping in his bed, half of his body hanging off of it. Tali was right- he didn't need to breath, or ever got exhausted, hungry or thirsty, ect. But he still slept and breathed out of habit. He snapped awake and tumbled out of bed when a knock at his door woke him up. "…Yeah…" Aaron called from inside. "Aaron, it's Tali. You've been asleep for three weeks"

"The hell- you serious!?" Aaron yelled, jumping from the bed and immediately opening the door. "Yeah, we all thought you needed time to cope… then we were worried that you had died of shock, so I went to get you. Plus Wrex wanted to see the 'Man who chopped the reaper apart with a sword'"

"Who's Wrex?"

"A krogan battle master, honestly, he scares me sometimes. He wanted to fight you"

"Is he suicidal?"

"You know krogan- he's old, and always looking for worthy people to fight him. He'll be in the lower deck if you want him" she said, walking away. Aaron shook his head, shrugging, and heading towards the elevator. When it arrived at the lower deck, it opened to a makeshift sparring area of sports, a scarred krogan clad in red body armor minus a helmet waiting for him, pounding his fists together. "You must be the gut they keep yapping about. I'm Wrex" the krogan said, smiling smugly. "Aaron. You wanted to fight?" he asked, stepping into the ring.

Shepard, Tali, Garrus, Ashley, Pressly, Joker, and a few other crew members were in the cockpit, watching through the cameras as the two beings on the monitors circled each-other. "This guy suicidal or something?" Joker asked. "All I know, someone's gonna die…" Garrus mumbled. "Hey, shut up, they're starting! Man, they better not trash my baby…" Joker moaned.

"You know it's impossible for you to win, right?" Aaron asked Wrex. Said being chuckled. "We shall see. No biotics" he said as he rushed the virtual being. Aaron shook his head, then in a blurry motion, hit the krogan in the face… causing him to fly backwards, hitting the wall behind him. "And… it's over" Aaron remarked.

The crew members in the cockpit stared in disbelief at what just happened. "…Did he just… punch him into a wall…?" Tali asked, stunned. Shepard chuckled. "Well, he did cut a reaper apart. You have to be pretty strong to do that"

"I'm pretty sure the sword did most of the work. I'm pretty sure that thing is made of pure plasma"

"You realize that thing was made in a simulation? It's made of whatever Aaron's made of"

"Still, it's a pretty nice sword"

Aaron was walking away when he heard a chuckle from behind him. He turned his head as Wrex got up, blue-purple energy flaring over his body. "Huh, so those are biotics, huh? I thought you said no biotics?"

"I'll use mine if you use yours" he said, firing a ball of energy at Aaron, who caught the ball, absorbing the energy inside of him. Wrex, the crew in the cockpit, and even Aaron looked at his hand in shock. "Okaaay… I dunno what that was… but I feel… better…" Aaron said as he fired a fire blast at wrex, knocking him back to the floor. The krogan tried to get back up, he used telekinesis to pick him up, electricity arcing around his body as Aaron threw Wrex around, ending with Aaron bashing him into the wall and throwing him on the ground, then shaking his head as he went to the elevator, hitting the button to go to his room.

When someone knocked at his door, he put his data pad down and went to it, opening the door to reveal Tali and Shepard. "You know you put Wrex in a concussion, right? I didn't even know it was possible for a krogan to get a concussion" Shepard remarked, crossing his arms. "Well, the guy wanted a fight, and I gave him a fight"

"And what was that when you absorbed his biotic attack? You absorbed pure eezo, you know" Tali said. "I dunno. When I was on the ship in my old universe, Boss said that he absorbed the code of some 'wardens' and got their powers. Maybe that's what I'm doing- eezo is like real-world code, and I'm absorbing it, gaining more power"

"Can you use it?" Shepard asked. "Yeah, but just barely. The most I can do is send a small bullet-sized ball out that's about as fast as a feather falling, and even that takes a lot of that weird black energy out of me"

"Black energy?" Tali asked. "Yeah, it seems that when my body uses eezo, it turns it from a blue-purple energy to pure black energy, with a cyan hue"

"And you can't use much?"

"I think it's like this: when I absorb people's biotic energy, I think it permanently increases my gauge of dark energy. I can use it up, but it has to… er, 'regenerate', as it is, to my current gauge level. I don't think it can go down, just up"

"That's… amazing, you can just absorb and use eezo like that?" Tali asked. "Yeah, I think. It's weird, it's like… it's like when I use telekinesis, my brain tingles, like it's burning a bit… I know I don't have a brain, sort of, but that's what it feels like, but across my entire body. Not burning, just… tingling. It's pretty awesome. I can't do much now, but absorb more of this biotic stuff, and I think it can strip me up with all kinds of neat tricks"

"…Well, I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities, but for now-" he was interrupted when the ship shuddered, and alarms started blaring, red emergency lights lighting up across the ship. "What the hell's happening!?" Aaron yelled over the blaring. "The ship is taking a beating! Everyone evacuate! Evacuate now!" Joker's voice said from over the loudspeakers as the ship shook again. "Damn, I gotta go get Joker, there's no-way he'll leave this ship that easily, just go, now!" Shepard yelled as he ran away in order to get Joker. "Oh shit, we gotta bounce!" Aaron yelled at Tali as an explosion went off besides them. She nodded as they headed towards the lower levels. An explosion was heard above them as debris fell towards Tali. "Damn, watch out!" Aaron yelled as he took the lazor razor out and slashed the debris away and grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the escape pods. "Ow! Aaron, you don't have to pull so hard, I know we're in a hurry!"

"Oh I'm sorry, would you like me to wait 'till the ship stops exploding? Get in the damn pod, woman!" he yelled as he shoved her in, and saw Garrus run from a hallway, and beckoned him into the pod as a few more crew members filled it, causing everyone but Aaron to strap in and the pod to close, the ship shooting it into space. When Aaron looked through the viewport, he saw what looked like a giant, almost organic and insect-looking ship shooting yellow beams into the _Normandy_, setting it aflame. "Spirits… Aaron, did you see Shepard make it out?" Garrus asked said virtual being. "He had to get Joker, hang on" he answered the turian, turning the O.M.G and turned it into a sniper rifle, looking through the scope at the wrecked ship. He saw Shepard throw an injured Joker into an escape pod and launch it… right before the ship exploded, launching Shepard's body into the planet below, his body burning in the atmosphere, and also saw air escape his suit. Whether he died from the heat or lack of oxygen, Aaron didn't know. Either way, Aaron came to one conclusion: Even if he survived the heat and oxygen, the landing would kill him. In short: Shepard was a dead man now. "Okay, I see him… ship exploded… he's falling… falling… and he's running out of oxygen… heading towards the planet… yeah, he's dead" Aaron said, turning to the crew members. They all had either grim or sad looks on their faces. He couldn't see Tali's, but he swore he could see a tear go down her face. "So, uh… anyone know what that ship was?" Aaron asked, trying to change the topic. "I've never seen anything like it… what the hell was that thing?" Garrus asked. "I dunno, it looked like a giant, legless ant shooting lasers… wish I had a pet that cool…" Aaron said, then winced when he saw the cold stairs the crew members gave him. He saw other escape pods full of the other crew fly past them, then banged his head on the window. "So… any idea how long 'till we hit the next colony?" Aaron asked. "Could be a couple days…" Tali said glumly. "…Son of a bitch!" Aaron yelled as the pod flew away into space.

In an ally on Omega, an asari justicar was running for her life, away from the madman chasing her. She was part of Eclipse, one of the main mercenary gangs, and she and her squad had been assigned the mission of taking out a prime target said to be hiding on Omega, so she and four human mercs had tracked him down and shot him. Problem was, when they shot him, he just seemed to shrug the bullets off. Then he froze one human merc, set another on fire, then picked the other two up by the throat and threw them to god-knows where, and now she was cornered, nothing but wall ahead of her, her only exit blocked by a man with sparking black electricity hued cyan, chuckling darkly. "You look tasty… by you, I mean your eezo… eh?" he said as he heard footsteps behind him, and turned his head to see two more justicars behind him. "Damn, what is this guy?" one asari asked. "He looks like a child, almost… just kill him so we can get paid" the other said, both firing actual revenants at hit. He turned his body and held his arms out, causing a circular ripple to form in the air around his hands, hued by black electricity, the shield catching the bullets and turning them into warp shots, firing the bullets back at one justicar, killing her. The other sent a warp biotic at him, which he actually caught, the blue-purple ball turning into his signature black and blue, throwing the warp back at her, the ball exploding and killing her. He turned to the original justicar and chuckled, the asari suddenly floating in the air as her body shot forwards towards him, his hand grasping her face as black and blue electricity arced around her body, blue and purple energy flooding from the asari into the electric man. When he was done, the justicar's body was shriveled and dead, and he tossed it away. "Well, she didn't have much in her… probably shouldn't have killed hose other two…" the man said as he let the black and blue lightning arc around his hand. "Aaron" said a voice from behind him. "…Eh…?" Aaron said, shutting his dark eezo off and turning, only to be shocked by who was behind him. There were three of them. One was a salarian he didn't recognize with a horn missing. Another was a woman wearing a skintight black and white outfit he also didn't recognize. The last he definitely did recognize. The familiar stock form, black armor and red N7 insignia on his shoulder. In the middle of the group was Commander Shepard. Aaron chuckled and shook his head, walking up to them. "Don't tell me I'm seeing ghosts now, I saw you die right through my scope"

"Cerberus revived me" Shepard said simply, shaking the virtual being's hand. "That's it? Two effin' years, and all you have to say is, 'Cerberus revived me?' Man, the hell's wrong with you? Also, Cerberus?" Aaron asked upon seeing the yellow insignia on the woman's shoulder. "Problem?" she asked. "Yeah, I'm wondering why Shepard is hanging around with a terrorist organization"

"What are you implying? Cerberus is not a terrorist organization"

"Okay, first of all, I think I've killed enough terrorists to know what makes one. I used to run with the Saints, who many thought were terrorists… 'till we saved America… plus, you guys have been gunning for me for two years, I should kill you right now"

"Cerberus is only looking out for what's best of humanity. Your unique powers were a prime candidate for our research, we were only asking for a few blood samples"

"I don't even have blood! And you asked me while pointing guns at me"

"I beg to differ"

"Oh really? 'Cause the first memory I have of you guys is a fire team blowing my apartment on the citadel up"

"As I recall, that apartment wasn't even yours!"

"Bitch, I don't care! I even tracked down some of your research labs! Shepard, you should have seen the torture their test subjects were going through! They can't be trusted!"

"That's a lie! Cerberus would never do that! And don't you dare call me 'bitch!'"

"Oh, I'll call you what I want! I saw this one girl, cute girl… 'till I saw her tied to a operating bed, a machine shooting thousands of needles into her face. What was her name, Inali I think…?"

"You don't know anything!" the woman said through clenched teeth, yellow-orange biotics flaring around her body. "Bitch, your trippin' if you think you can take me" Aaron said, turning his O.M.G into a black .45 Fletcher pistol and pointing it at her face. "Shepard. You didn't mention he had such a temper. Very… unsettling" the salarian said very rapidly. "Aaron, stand down!" Shepard yelled. "You don't have any authority over me, Shepard"

"I thought you wanted to destroy the reapers"

"Not with Cerberus! Besides, no-one has seen one single reaper. What could you possibly want my help with?"

"You know about the human colonies that have been disappearing?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We know who's been taking them" Aaron immediately holstered his O.M.G and looked Shepard dead in the eye. "You better not be lying, Shepard"

"I'm not. Cerberus is the only one taking the disappearances seriously, and I'm working with them to figure out who's taking them, and stop them"

"…Heh, Shepard… I still think I should kill the Illusive Man… but I guess I can put it off for now. Fine, I'll join ya… but you better keep her in line" Aaron said, gesturing to the woman. "It's nice to meet you to, Aaron. I'm Miranda Lawson"

"Ah, Jack's little pet project"

"…Jack…?"

"Jack Harper, the Illusive Man's real name. You'd be surprised how busy I've been the last two years" he saw Miranda sputter, and she raised a hand to slap him. He shook his head in pity as he telepathically lifted her into the air. "Hey, put me down!" she yelled. "Say your sorry for pathetically trying to slap me"

"I will not!"

"Aw, come on, don't be such a sourpuss…"

"Aaron, do you think you could put her down…?"

"Shepard, shut up, I'm getting my apology"

"AARON!" Shepard yelled, causing him to drop Miranda. "Alright, alright, sorry, jeez… anyway!" Aaron said, clapping his hands together. "So, exactly what's the plan? I mean, what are we doing?"

"Before I say that, what were you doing to those asari?"

"Oh, them? You know how I absorb eezo to increase my own supply? Well, I've been hunting justicars for awhile, sapping their energy. I apparently can also absorb my dark energy from any eezo source. And… well, the religious hierarchy apparently put it in their 'code' to kill me on sight. Not that they ever have. Or ever could. Although, I don't know who wants to kill me enough that they're sending mercs with fucking _revenants _after me, not even Cerberus pulled that much funding to bag me, and pretty much everyone in the galaxy wants me dead, so your guess is as good as mine"

"Everyone?"

"Yep, everyone: Blue suns, Eclipse, Asari code thing, salarian STG wanting to study me, that blood pack or whatever, Cerberus, fifth fleet, shadow broker, Alliance, all of the PMC's, bounty hunters, pretty much every security agency on every colony, every krogan, spectr agency, so yeah, everyone"

"-whistle- man, Aaron, you've been busy. What have you been doing?"

"Pretty much what I always did in my old universe but across the galaxy. You know, thievery, insurance fraud, gang hits, pyrotechnic crimes, political assassination, blowin' shit up, kidnapping, ransom, war crimes, reckless driving, grand theft auto of mostly dreadnaught ships, acquiring sensitive information the council has tried to get me killed for knowing, piracy, A LOT of murder, threatening to kill the council, don't really know if this is a crime but absorption of eezo, illegal mining for eezo, killing miners when I didn't feel like paying them… some of those I didn't do in my old universe, but most of it I did" Everyone's jaw was hanging open upon hearing all of the atrocities he had committed. "…Wha?" he asked. "Um… Aaron… um… I'm starting to regret finding you if I didn't need your help…"

"What? I only kill people everyone wants dead anyway. So, I'll ask again, what are we doing?"

"We're gathering up the old gang so we can fight the collectors"

"…Who…?"

"Right, forgot you aren't from here, I'll explain later, right now, we need to get a guy by the name of archangel"

"Oh, I've heard of him, wanted to meet him, probably make a homie of him… anyway, where to?"

"First, Miranda, I think this might work better if you weren't on this mission, can you go back to the ship"

"Sure thing, Shepard…" she said, shooting Aaron a nasty glare as she walked away. "Anyway, we have to go to the Afterlife to talk to the apparent 'ruler of Omega', come on" he said, leading them to the club. When they arrived, he pointed to the top of the club, where a asari with bodyguards surrounding her were located. "I'll take care of this" Aaron said, walking to the stairs. "We need her alive, Aaron" Shepard warned. "Yeah, yeah…" Aaron waved off as he ascended the stairs. He was about to walk up to the asari, but a batarian bodyguard stopped him. "Out of the way, four eyes" Aaron warned. The asari in the chair chuckled. "You don't say that to my personal bodyguard. Make no mistake, he'll throw you out the nearest airlock"

"Oh, really?" Aaron said, grabbing the batarian by the neck, much to his protest, and chucking him across the club, causing the loud music in the club to stop and everyone to stare. Aaron walked up to the asari, stabbing a turian guard with his sword, and shooting another with his O.M.G pistol. "…I guess your new around here. There's one rule, ONE rule everyone around here needs to follow. Nobody. Fucks. With. Aria" she said, biotics flaring around her. "Except me" Aaron said, dark eezo flaring around his body. "What?" Aria spat. "Well, you see, nobody but _me _fucks with you. You see, I'm kinda the guy everyone in the galaxy wants to kill, and you think I don't have the power to stay alive this long? There is no-one in this galaxy more powerful than me, I'm more than a match against a _reaper_! If I wanna ask you a damn question, I'm gonna ask you one, bitch" she chuckled darkly, before saying, "Well, I'd like to prove you wrong" she said before sending a shockwave of eezo energy at him… Aaron quickly absorbing the eezo. "What the-!" Aria gasped, before Aaron stomped on the ground, causing the ground to shake as Aria was flung to the other side of the club, Aaron slowly walking over towards her. "Aria, the first thing you need to learn about me is that I absorb eezo like vitamin D, so biotics don't do shit against me. And since you most likely don't know what the hell that is considering you probably didn't get a good education considering you're a pirate queen of one of the worst scum holes in the galaxy, vitamin D is the stuff your skin absorbs through the suns rays. Now, for the rest of you at this party, I know for a fact that there's at least ONE Cerberus plant here tailing me, I'm not an idiot, so if anyone tries to leave, I'm gonna shoot them. Now, Aria- what the fuck did I just say!?" Aaron suddenly shouted, shooting a partygoer that tried to sneak out, a Cerberus insignia on his shoulder. "Okay, barring that interruption, Aria, I would like to know the whereabouts of a certain archangel. Now, whether you tell me of your own will or I have to absorb all of the eezo out of your body while frying your brains, that's up to you. Or I could freeze one of your limbs off, I've never just frozen body parts, and I could actually use the practice-"

"Aaron, stop!" Shepard shouted, pulling him away. "What? I was mostly kidding… sorta…"

"Look, just let me talk to her, alright? Talk to Mordin" he said, pointing to the salarian in their group while he tried to talk to Aria. Aaron shrugged, walking to the corner of the club with him, before shouting, "Well, what are the rest of you waiting for? Intrusions over, might as well turn the music back on" Everyone shrugged as the music turned back on, Mordin the salarian grinning at him. "What, I learned from the best crime boss where I'm from, I mean, the guy became flipping president… Shepard told you about my dimension thing, right?"

"Oh yes, Shepard told me about your predicament, find it quite interesting, especially your absorption of element zero and turning it into dark energy, especially being able to control it so well… no wonder STG wishes to acquire you"

"Jeez, you always talk this fast? Wait, Mordin, Mordin… your last name wouldn't happen to be Solus, would it?"

"Yes, it would be, why?"

"So, you were part of the STG taskforce that developed the genophage? The virus that sterilized the krogan?"

"How would you know that? Thought those documents were destroyed…"

"Yeah, you wouldn't BELIEVE what I had to go through to get those files, it was a mess… me breaking into that research facility is the reason STG wants me anyway…"

"Who hired you to get those files? Bloodpack? Krogan warlords? Alliance?"

"Nah, I did that for fun, I was kinda bored at the time"

"…You consider infiltrating a STG research facility and stealing sensitive information while risking your own life _fun_?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, just things I need to consider…" Mordin finished, turning away and muttering to himself. Aaron turned around and saw Shepard approach them. "Hey, Aria gave me a location. You busy?"

"Nah, let me just get the nutty professor here…" Aaron said, tapping on Mordin's ovular shoulder blade and pointing to Shepard. "Anyway, he's hold up on a bridge. All of the major merc gangs are after him: Blue suns, Eclipse, and Bloodpack" Aaron raised a hand. "Um, Shepard… you realize once those gangs see me, they'll forget archangel altogether and gun for me?"

"Oh, damn, yeah… ideas?"

"Um… okay, I'll sprint along the rooftops and meet with archangel, while you pretend to be with one of the gangs, or a private gunman, or something. I'll protect archy while he figures a way out, you buying time be sneaking behind enemy lines and sabotaging them or some military tactical nonsense like that, sound good?"

"That… actually sounds like it might work"

"Yep!… what do I do again?"

"Are you serious!? You came up with the plan!"

"Well… I mean, yeah… I'll remember on the way, just go, I'll get archangel"

"You don't where he is, though…"

"I'll just look for a bridge that people are shooting a turian sniper on, how hard could it be?" Aaron asked as he ran out of the club, hopping on the buildings in the airway, sprinting from building to building, on his search for archangel.

** A/N- Yeppers, I know, kinda late and a little short, but holidays and family stuff like that, you know, plus this seems like a good place to stop. And I don't really like this fic as much as the other ones I'm making. Anyway, I'm short on stuff, so anyone wants me to do a crossover on something, I'll do it. Like, I already got the main characters, I just need a different dimension to put them in, something like that. So, I'll try to write this faster without the holidays distracting me, but… out of all my fics, this one has the less motivation for me to write, I got others I've written that I haven't posted, I just need suggestions for different universes I could put them in you guys would like to see. Also, concerning Aaron and his dark eezo powers, I'm giving him inFamous 1 and 2 powers, cause… well, I got something good planned, and I figured I needed to jack him up with better powers that he already had for it. And I'm always open to suggestions for anything, no matter what it is, even for the other fics I have, and the others I'm writing, anything at all would help, so I implore you, suggest your thoughts, brutally criticize me, suggest things, I need it. So without further ado, I'ma be going now. Cya! **


	3. Chapter 3

**MASS MISCALCULATION**

**Episode 3- Lamenting on the past**

As Aaron hopped to the bridge he assumed was the one he was looking for, he saw A LOT of bodies on the bridge. As members from all three merc groups tried to cross the bridge, bodies were literally spilling over the edge as a lone turian sniper shot them all. _'Jeez, wonder who this guy is? Wish he didn't have the helmet… well, better go say hi. Dude better not shoot me when I sneak up on him…' _Aaron thought as he landed on the elevated floor of the room Archangel was in. Aaron closed his eyes and waved, smiling and saying, "Hey, sniper dude, how's it going, I'm- Jesus, what the hell!?" Aaron suddenly shouted as he narrowly avoided getting shot at by a surprised Archangel. "I was only saying 'hi' and you shoot me!? The hell's your problem!?"

"You're the one who sneaked up on me!" a familiar voice said through the helmet. "Wait, that voice… never mind, we gotta get you out of here before you end up like my 'we need you' poster in my old high school dorm!"

"…What?"

"I used it as a dartboard for knives, can we just go or not!?"

"Not yet. I was looking through my scope and I saw commander Shepard. We need to wait for him"

"What the hell for!? The plan was I get you while he sabotages the mercs!"

"He's with you?"

"Yeah, and he'll meet us later, now let's bounce!"

"I can't just yet"

"They're better be a damn well good reason before I go arch demon on your ass…"

"There are some high-ranking targets from all three merc groups that have been causing trouble I need to kill. I do that, then we can leave"

"Sonofa- what if I just go down there right now and kill them all?"

"Yeah, good luck with that"

"Thanks!" Aaron shouted as he jumped onto the middle of the bridge. "What the- I didn't you you were serious, damnit!" Archangel shouted down to him. All of the mercs immediately stopped shooting and looked at Aaron. "Um… what's a kid doing here?" a Blue Sun asked. "What the hell- that's Aaron! Everyone! Forget Archangel, this guy has a bigger payoff, kill him!" A salarian Eclipse merc said. Aaron chuckled, dark eezo arcing across his body. "Hey, how about this, you let me and Archy go, and I'll let most of you live" Aaron offered. Most of the mercs snickered as they fired at him. "Ah well, I needed the practice anyway" Aaron said as a circular ripple appeared in the air with a black energy ridge, indicating a deployed energy shield. All of the grain-sized bullets hit the shield, magnetically suspended in the air, before they all became black warp shots, shooting in random directions back at the mercs, killing a dozen. A large amount of dark energy arced around Aaron's arms as he raised them, sending the energy into the air. All the mercs looked up in confusion before black lightning with a cyan hue hit the bridge, heading towards the mercs. They all tried to take cover, which was a fatal mistake, seeing as the majority of them were fried anyway. "Okay, I'm out of that stuff… well, still got these" Aaron said, firing a fire blast at the mercs as he pulled the hilt of the lazor razor out, flicking it and causing the cyan plasma blade to extend out of it. "Where's the damn mechs!?" someone shouted. "They're not responding! Someone hacked them all into permanent shutdown! We have to-gah!" another shouted as he was shot by a still sniping Archangel. Aaron gave him a thumbs-up as he jumped at the rest of the mercs, slashing the salarian before in half, dark-green blood splashing on the ground as a krogan followed by two others came out, biotics flaring around his body. "Time to end this, clan killer!" he shouted. "Jeez, every krogan, you guys just won't let that go, will you?"

"You stole thousands of gallons of ryncol!"

"Yeah, well, I needed that ryncol. So your from Blood Pack, I presume?"

"Yes, and when I kill you, the krogan will- eh?" he said as Aaron turned his O.M.G into a mine thrower, shooting a mine at his feet. "So, yeah, um… that's kind of gonna explode… never mind" Aaron said as the mine exploded, blasting apart all three krogan. When Aaron turned around, he saw Shepard shoot the rest of the mercs, nodding his head. "Well, that's everyone, let's go- wait, something's wrong"

"What?"

"Well, there was the Eclipse leader, the salarian, the Blood Pack krogan…. We're missing the Blue Suns leader!" Aaron shouted as a dropship appeared next to the building where Archangel was in, firing a missile into it. "Damnit, no!" Aaron shouted, jumping up to the dropship and cutting it in half with his sword, the two halves exploding and dropping off to the abyss under the bridge. When Aaron, Shepard, and Mordin went up to Archangel, they saw dark blue blood everywhere as a wounded Archangel choked on his own blood, his helmet being blown off, along with a segment of his blue armor. "Is it me, or does he seem familiar?" Aaron asked upon seeing the holographic visor on one of his eyes. "Oh my god… it's Garrus!" Shepard gasped, rushing over to his fallen friend. "Well, how was I supposed to know!? All you aliens look the same to me"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mordin asked. "…Nothin'…" Aaron said, quickly turning to the almost dead turian. "Yeah, so I guess we should get him to a hospital, otherwise he's smoked"

"There's no time! We have to get him to the medbay on the _Normandy_!"

"Wait wait wait, hold up, that got blown up"

"Cerberus made a new one, can you take him back, your faster than us!"

"Yeah yeah, it parked in that one docking bay next to the club?"

"Yeah, just go!" Shepard yelled. Aaron carefully picked Garrus up and slung him across his shoulders, sprinting and jumping across the buildings. Eventually he found the docking bay, with what looked like a perfect replica of the Normandy parked… with a giant Cerberus insignia painted on the sides. "Oh, hell no, that has got to go later on…" Aaron said as he jumped to the ships open cargo bay, remembering where the elevator was and hitting the button. "Come on, come on, come on you fucking slow elevator…" Aaron said, tapping his foot impatiently as they opened into the middle deck. "Hey, gardener or whatever your name is!" Aaron waved to the cook as he rushed into the medical bay, dropping Garrus into a bed. He turned around to see a shocked doctor Chakwas behind him. "Oh hey, Chakwas, so, um… we found Garrus, and he's, well… dying, so can you fix him up while I go?" Aaron said, leaving the medical room before the doctor could utter a word. He jumped back into the elevator and rode it back down to the cargo bay, leaving the ship and running into the market district. "There is no way in hell I'm going to be riding around in that thing, not without some style, at least…" Aaron muttered as he jumped away.

Garrus and Shepard were walking away from the briefing room, Garrus rubbing his now permanently scarred face. "Shepard, I swear, you had time to hack those mechs, but you couldn't have blown up the dropship or something as you walked by it? You said you were alone after you electrified that batarian"

"Look, I'm sorry, but at least your not uglier than you used to be"

"Still gonna get more girls than you"

"Hey, you know where Aaron is?"

"I'm right here" Aaron said suddenly, popping up from behind them, startling them both. "Damn, Aaron, where did you come from?"

"Um, just came back"

"From where…?"

"Oh, I saw that Cerberus insignia, so I made some… modifications to the ship"

"Joker's not going to like that…"

"Oh, relax, it's an improvement, honest! Come and see" Aaron said, beckoning to them both. "Hey, Joker, come out with us" Aaron called out to the intercom. "Yeah, sure, just give me a minute" he said. When they all went outside, they all stared at what Aaron had done to the _Normandy_. "What the hell did you do to my baby!?" Joker yelled. "What, I just gave her a new paintjob"

"Aaron, how did you do that in a few hours?" Garrus asked. "You know, super speed, Omni paint, heat blast to dry it quicker, was pretty easy"

"That doesn't make any sense, work like this would take AT LEAST a week…"

"Super powers, son"

"But-"

"Garrus, don't argue with me, super powers is the answer to everything. And Nanomachines. And thirty-one" they all stared at the newly painted Normandy, Garrus in confusion, Joker and Shepard in horror, and Aaron smiling. The parts that were painted black remained black, with the white upper half painted purple, the Cerberus insignia on both sides being redone to be a Saints fleur a darker shade of purple, the yellow line glossed to look gold. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you… the _Saints Normandy_!" Aaron said proudly, gesturing to the ship. "…The Illusive Man is not gonna be happy about this…" Shepard commented. "Eh, fuck 'im, guy already hates me anyways"

"Why, what'd you do?"

"That fact I know his name is enough reason for him to try to kill me. And my powers. And I blew his base up…"

"You what!?"

"I'll tell you guys later, but Joker, you have to admit, a fleur is better than that Cerberus insignia, right?"

"What is the meaning of this!?" said a female voice. They all turned to see a pissed-looking Miranda staring at the purple ship. "This is art, Miranda. You try painting a ship like this in a few hours!" Aaron yelled. "I can't believe this! No, I won't have this, the ship needs to be repainted, right now!"

"I would, but… you know, I'm out of credits for paint, and, well… I don't really want to. I also don't want to"

"I'm not giving you a choice here!"

"I thought Shepard was the commander here?"

"That doesn't- wait, are you really out of credits?"

"Naw, I got, like, forty-two hundred billion"

"What!?" Shepard shouted. Aaron shrugged, smiling awkwardly. "It was a _busy _two years, dude" he then started walking back to the ship, saying, "And don't try to take it off, because I'll know. And if you hire anyone to paint over it, I'll kill them. And if you blow the armor off so we're forced to get a new paintjob, well, your just being reckless at that point" Aaron chuckled as he walked back into the ship, leaving a fuming and sputtering Miranda behind.

"Shepard. How goes you mission?" the Illusive Man said through the holographic projection. They were off of Omga now, heading towards the prison space station to pick up 'Jack', a overpowered human biotic. Shepards was in the briefing room now, talking to the Illusive Man now. "Good, we got all the people we needed to get on Omega"

"Yes, speaking of which, I'd like to talk to you about one of those people…"

"Let me guess: Aaron?"

"Correct. Shepard, do you know what exactly it is you have on that ship?"

"From what I know, soon to be a pain in my side. Why?"

"Shepard… forgive my language, but do you know how much trouble that bastard has caused for me?"

"You seem infuriated"

"And I have good reason to be so. That man has caused more trouble for us than anything else in the entire galaxy. At first, we just tried to talk to him, do a few non-harmful tests on him. And what did he do? He destroyed my main base of operations. I'd rather not say how, it was so idiotic, but… Shepard, EDI tells me that he painted over the _Normandy_. Is this true?"

"Yeah, I wasn't going to mention it, why, do you want him to paint it back?"

"I rather doubt he's going to listen to a word I say, just… leave the paint, I suppose. I warn you, Shepard- Aaron's very volatile, if you don't keep a close eye on him, something bad can and will happen. I'm just warning you now, as to prevent future catastrophe"

"Thanks for the warning, but I think I can handle Aaron. He's stubborn, but nonetheless loyal, and he also seems to want to end the abduction of the human colonies, like we do"

"Excellent. Well, I'll leave you to your mission. Gather the rest of the team up. We'll need them if we are to stop the collectors" the Illusive Man said, deactivating the hologram. Shepard sighed, running his hand over the orange, glowing scars on his face as he walked out and into the elevator, heading to the messhall for some food. When he arrived, he saw that Mordin, Garrus, Jacob, a Cerberus soldier, and Zaeed, a mercenary Shepard picked up as part of his team, seated around him, all chuckling. "So the council threatens to arrest me after I insult them, then I take my sword out and threaten to cut Udina's tongue out, next thing I know, all of C-sec is gunning for me. Anyway, long story short, stole a frigate, flew to Illium, had some fun adventures with a drell assassin, and basically bought another apartment there and have lived there ever since"

"How about the one with the dreadnaughts?" Garrus asked. Aaron was about to speak, but then he saw Shepard. "Ah, Shepard! Pull a seat up, I'm just telling some stories" Shepard complied, pulling a chair up, then asked, "Okay, so what's this one about?"

"Oh, this is how I blew up that Cerberus base , you'll love it. Anyway, it all started when-"

Illium apartment, "Aaron's crib". One year six months ago

"Alright Thane, I've been planning this for three hours now, I think I have it"

"Is this really the best of ideas?" the drell assassin asked. "Yeah, it is. Three months ago, Cerberus started gunning for me and blew that sweet apartment up… now it's time for some payback. Anyway, you got a ride your not that emotionally attached to?"

"No, why?"

"Ah, shoot. Guess I'll just steal one. I need a ride to the Citadel, and I need you to come with me, I need an extra pair of hands. Oh, but one thing first, can you pilot a dreadnaught?"

"It's one of my many skills. What are you planning?"

"I'm gonna steal some dreadnaughts"

"…What?"

"It's all part of the plan, anyway, can you do it?"

"…-sigh-… what shall I be doing?"

"It's simple, when I give the signal, just jump in the cockpit of the dreadnaught I cleared out. I'll use the RC possessor gun on my O.M.G on another, and I'll pilot a third. We'll store it in that garage depot you know that doesn't ask questions, then we can start phase two"

"Which is…?"

"I'll tell you when we get to it. Now, can you help me?"

"You can pilot two ships at once?"

"Eh, probably, how hard can it be?"

"You know I can't take innocent lives"

"You're not, I'm doing that. Plus I need these ships. And you owe me for when I saved you getting your ass full of holes from that job on Thessia. Please…?"

"Fine, then. I will help you on this quest for vengeance, but know I don't offer this on any occasion."

"At least until I save you from getting swallowed by a thresher maw"

"That will never happen"

"Boss didn't appreciate that kind of negativity, and neither do I, now, let's steal us a spaceship!"

"We can just take mine"

"…You said you didn't have one!"

"I said I didn't have one I wasn't attached to. Let us depart" Thane said, gesturing to the door, and Aaron complied, leaving the crib with the assassin they got to the garage where Thane kept his ship, and Aaron whistled. "That's a pretty nice ship… kinda small, you sure it can travel through mass relays?"

"I've done It before, now come on" Thane said as they both got into the ship. From what Aaron remembered of it, the ship was about half of the size of the _Normady_, sleek, and of course, thanks to Thane, black. He _always _needed black things. "I wanna know what happened to that black widow sniper rifle I lent you, you know how hard it was to get that thing? Only spectres can use them, and even then, it's beyond regulation"

"Oh, I may have lost it while doing a small job involving a turian dignitary and a volus beneficiary"

"You dropped it down a building and it exploded, didn't you?"

"I apologize, and will find a way to acquire a new one for you"

"No, just- just forget it, I'll get it myself… you still owe me twenty-four million credits though, jackass"

"Fair enough" Thane said in his usual calm voice as the ship flew off, hitting the mass relay and veering off into space, leaving an electric trail behind as the ship headed to the Citadel. "I'm gonna take a nap to pass the time" Aaron said, slumping in his seat as he passed out.

His shoulder being shoved woke Aaron up from the strange dream he was having. In it, he was in a room full of billions, possibly infinite galaxies, and Aaron was there, along with five other people, who all seemed to be fighting, and a man he couldn't make out in a white suit trying to calm them. The last thing he remembered was a guy in a blue hoody stabbing him with a claw before Thane shook him awake. "Aaron, we have arrived, I'm docking now"

"Uh-huh, yeah, just park anywhere, we need to find out where the Fifth Fleet keeps their dreadnoughts"

"They're parked in that docking bay right over there"

"Yeah, that's nice Tha- wait, what!?"

"Yes, it seems they are on shore leave"

"Well, then this will be easy! I'll jump out, jack the ships, you pilot one, I'll pilot the other two, we take them to the depot, easy as swallowing a hanar!"

"…What?"

"Yeah, before I knew what they were, I though they were free samples of alien seafood that just kinda floated in the air, you know? So I swallowed one, and, well… I found out what they were… look, don't give me that look, the guys fine, I spit him out. Jeez"

"You realize that there will be heavy resistance? They aren't going to just let you steal three ships, they could follow us through the relay"

"I got a very simple solution to that"

"Which is, if I may ask?"

"I'm gonna slash apart any ship that follows us, then jump back to the dreadnaughts, we go through, lose 'em, stash the ships, easy as what we're about to do! Bye!" Aaron shouted as he jumped out of the ship… only to land on the ground surrounded by Alliance soldiers. "Hey, uh, soldier dudes… look, I'ma level with you, I kinda… need to borrow three of those dreadnaughts… hey, they're all empty, right?" When the soldiers nodded their heads, he hummed as he unsheathed the lazor razor. "In that case, I'm gonna go take a few of 'em!" Aaron said, vaulting into the air and avoiding the gunfire the soldiers were raining down on him. He sprinted to the ships, cutting down anyone in his way, and jumped into one, making sure it was empty, then jumped into another, making his way to the cockpit of the massive ship and forming the RC possessor, shooting a control dart into the dashboard of the cockpit. He jumped into the final one, making sure it was empty, before sending a fireblast up in the air, signaling Thane to sneak by while Aaron gunned down the remaining soldiers. "Okay, grab the one on the left, I got the other two!" Thane nodded in confirmation, and Aaron hopped in the cockpit of the third dreadnaught. Considering the size of the ships, it had overall taken Aaron ten minutes to clear them out. "Okay, now then… I got no idea how to fly this thing!" Aaron shouted. He heard a whimper, and saw a lightly armored soldier hiding behind a chair. "Hey, do you know how to pilot this thing?" Aaron asked the soldier. "Uh.. Y-yeah, I do, I'm the pilot, why?" he asked. "Oh, that's great! Now fly this thing before I put a bullet where the information to fly this thing is" Aaron deadpanned, holding his black pistol to the pilots head. He nodded, getting into the pilots chair and preparing to fly the ship. "Any location in particular?" the pilot asked. "Just follow the other two" Aaron said, pointing his gun to the other two leaving dreadnoughts. The pilot nodded, the ship starting to take. Aaron kept the gun on the pilots head while piloting the possessed ship with his RC gun, commenting, "Alright, just like controlling a toy spaceship… a giant, super-destructive spaceship… eh?" Aaron asked upon seeing about twenty Alliance frigates closing in on the dreadnoughts. "Uh-oh… hey I need to go for a minute, steer this ship off course and I'll space you" Aaron said to the quickly nodding pilot, Aaron nodding and heading to the cargo hold, leaving through the airlock and standing on the outside of the ship. Since he was the virtual being he was, he didn't need to breath, and seeing as how he didn't have blood, just those blue pixel… things, he could easily survive in space. And since space didn't have gravity, when he glided through the air, spreading his limbs, he actually flew through space, so reaching the frigates was an easy matter. "Alright, now to- wait, let me try something…" one of Aaron's powers was 'death from above', as Matt put it. Apparently he was going to give it to the Boss after he freed Gat, so Aaron was a guinea pig for it. Basically, while in the air, he could be suspended in it and choose precisely where to land, flying towards the landing spot rapidly and creating a small explosion where he lands. The best part was, if he was, oh say, a few hundred feet in the air, the force at which he could fly down was big enough to cause a nuclear explosion- one that was slightly larger than that a CAIN heavy weapon makes, with a much bigger blast radius. Aaron wasn't sure whether a death from above nuke would disable a frigate in one hit, but it was worth trying. At the very least it would heavily damage it. With a shrug, Aaron jumped into space, and after about ten second of flying straight up due to the lack of gravity, and hovered in the air suddenly, aiming at the closest frigate he saw. "Alright, this should he high enough, this is one of those moments… DEATH FROM ABOVE, BIIIIIIIIIIITCHEEEEES!" Aaron screamed as he rapidly flew down, a nuclear explosion the result of him hitting the frigate, a small, neon purple mushroom cloud forming. Aaron jumped off of the ship as it exploded, taking a few of the other frigates out with it. "Oh-ho-ho-ho, that worked. Better take out the rest…" Aaron muttered, doing the same thing to the remaining frigates. When he was done, all of the ships chasing them were now smoldering debris fields, and the Citadel was in chaos. Again. Aaron nodded in approval at his work and jumped back to the dreadnaught that he was supposed to be in right before it went through the mass relay.

"Well, thanks for the help, pilot dude, but… uh… I can't really have any witnesses, so… yeah, sorry about this. Anyway, Thane, thanks for your help, there's just one more thing I need from you. Umm… can someone get rid of this?" Aaron asked as he shot the Alliance soldier and turned to Thane, a mechanic picking the body up. They were in the secret garage Thane knew of, the garage itself imbedded in a large meteorite, away from prying eyes. "Aaron… what you did… it was such a waste of life…" Thane whispered, his hands pressed together in prayer. "Look, Thane, I know your into that whole drell religion thing, and I'm okay with that, this brother don't judge, but I had to do it"

"Do you realize how many soldiers were in those ships you killed?"

"Probably a lot… anyway! You think some of the workers here will do me a solid?"

"If you pay them enough, yes"

"Well, I need their help with phase two of the plan"

"What about me?"

"Oh, I just needed to know if the workers would do what I wanted, I don't need your help anymore, but thanks for helping me with the dreadnoughts! You going back to Illium?"

"Yes, I still have work that needs doing… enlighten me, exactly what will you be doing with the dreadnaughts?"

"Weeeelp, first I need ryncol, so I'll be heading to Tuchanka"

"Why do you need ryncol?"

"Well, I figured, 'the biggest explosions are always nuclear', right?"

"Well, not all, but most…"

"And ryncol is nuclear and flammable, right?"

"Yes… oh, no…"

"So… I was thinking-"

"Aaron, you aren't…"

"Look, Thane, that was one of the best apartments on the Citadel Cerberus blew up…"

"I thought you were going to sell those ships, or use them to attack Cerberus!"

"That would be stupid, my stealthy, green friend. You see, at first I was just gonna put some explosives on the dreadnoughts and ram them into the base, then blow them up, hoping that the mass effect drive cores would be enough to blow the base up, then I found out about ryncol. So basically I'm doing the same thing, except I'm gonna load the ships with ryncol before I blow them up"

"Aaron, that's… well, I suppose it's an insane enough idea to work… how do you plan on acquiring all of that ryncol?"

"That's where Tuchanka comes in. There's a distillery there that has almost all of the ryncol in the galaxy, it's where they make it. We're talking hundreds of thousands of gallons of ryncol"

"Do you know how much that is going to cost? I don't even think the krogan are going to give you a drop of that ryncol"

"They're not, I'm gonna kill all of the krogan at that distillery and steal it"

"Of course you are… exactly how are you going to do this?"

"Well, first I load some of the workers here in the dreadnaughts and fly them over to that irradiated planet. Then we land the ships at the distillery, I kill all of the krogan there, and I guard the place from krogan that'll investigate three giant ships landing on the planet while the workers load the ryncol on. Easy peasy! Then I'll initiate phase three"

"And I know I've asked a lot of these questions, so forgive my prying, but phase three is…?"

"Blow the hell out of Cerberus. Well, Thane, it's been fun, I guess this is where we depart. Good luck with that son of yours. Bye!" Aaron waved as he walked away to the boss of the vehicle depot. Thane waved back before asking, "Wait, what about my ship on the citadel?"

After talking with the boss of the depot- and paying him to send a worker to retrieve Thane's ship- the boss agreed to lend Aaron the mechanics and workers after promising that they wouldn't be subject to any harm. After assuring they wouldn't, Aaron paid the man, and the workers were loaded into the ships as they hit the mass relay to Tuchanka. When they arrived at the planet, Aaron opted to jump down from orbit and kill the krogan there while the ships landed. During his decent to the distillery, Aaron noticed how irradiated and just… _ruined _the planet was. He had been to Tuchanka before, but it seemed every time he came back, the planet looked worse. Maybe he was doing the krogan a favor by stealing all of their alcohol. It's not like it was going to be put to waste. All he was gonna do was blow it all along with Cerberus to hell. Oh, wait… _'Well…' _Aaron thought as he glided to the middle of the distillery, landing softly as he slit a krogan's throat with his sword, _'Maybe this will show them some restraint. Or they'll murder everyone while going through withdrawal. Oh, well… I can't use guns or fire, don't want to blow the ryncol. Yet'_ Aaron finished thinking, cutting a patrol of two krogan in half. Thirty seconds later, he was hiding the body of the seventh krogan he stabbed when alarms started blaring. "Shit, they either found the bodies or they saw the ships landing" Aaron muttered as he saw the majority of the krogan in the facility gathering at the entrance as the dreadnoughts were landing. "Arrogant bastards, aren't they? Welp, should probably kill them now" Aaron said as he jumped into the middle of the group of krogan, startling a few but most just shrugging and turning their shotguns on him. Aaron just smirked as he chopped all of their shotguns in half, then cut the krogan in pieces as they looked at their broken shotguns in confusion. "Alright, krogan dead, ryncol about to be loaded… might as well give one last middle finger to the krogan before we leave…" Aaron smirked evilly as he set to work on the distillery.

After a couple of hours of killing straggler krogan and making sure no more were coming- _they should really update their security system, you'd think more krogan would show up to save their precious ryncol_- Aaron held the detonator to the explosives he had planted in the brewery in anticipation. He had learned long ago that because of the digital nature of his guns, and the fact that since the bullets just digitally constructed rendering his guns with infinite ammo, that the O.M.G could also spawn infinite amounts of C4 charges… along with a detonator so he could blow it all simultaneously. Aaron still didn't know how what he was would be scientifically possible. There was probably some explanation he wouldn't understand, so he just went with the simple answer of 'space magic'. he knew this wasn't the actual explanation, but it gave him less of a headache than what Tali had told him when he had first met the quarian. _'Wonder what she's doing nowadays…' _Aaron wondered as a worker came up to him, nodding his head to confirm that all of the ryncol had been loaded. "All a'ight, cool. Just get into the dreadnoughts so I can get you guys back to your garage" Aaron said as he followed the workers inside the dreadnoughts, taking his sunglasses off momentarily as he hit the detonator as the ships hit orbit, the explosion being visible from how high they were.

"Man, I bet they're scrambling to get the hell out of that base. To bad I won't let them" Aaron chuckled darkly as he sat in the chair on Thane's ship at the observation window, the black dubstep gun rested at his side, playing hardcore rap music in honor of the Boss's favorite music, the ship being on a meteorite that overlooked the Cerberus base, yet was far enough away to not be blown up by the soon-to-be-tremendous explosion. After scouring countless labs and countless interogations, he had finally learned the location of their main base of operations- a cliché big-ass base inside of an asteroid. Aaron had no doubt that they could easily rebuild this base, despite it's size. This was just a messge to indicate what he could do. Parked behind him was Thane's ship, which he would return and afterword relax at his crib on Illium. The dreadnoughts were slowly flying towards the base, having VI's installed into them which he had aquired from a nuetral friend in the quarian fleet experimenting with geth after he had stolen the ryncol, and each ship was now on a collision course with the base, each filled to the brim with barrels of ryncol. Aaron had also made sure to slice apart the outer cannon defenses on the base, and jammed all of the blast doors and airlock doors shut, with the finishing touch being Thane's ship having special cameras on it able to record the entire thing, which Aaron would post on the extranet after he got back. "Okay, in ten… nine… eigh- oh, dragged it out to long" Aaron said as the ships collided with the base, Aaron raising adetonator. "Cerberus… you owe me an apartment" Aaron deadpanned, not actually hearing what he was saying considering he was in space, and pressing the detonator button down, the C4 in the ships detonating, and all three exploding in a brilliant, bright white light. Aaron couldn't look away at the beautiful explosion before him. It was like three nukes firing off… times a hundred. After ebout fivee minutes, the dust settled, so to speak, the base being nothing more than a twisted hunk of metal, with absolutely no remains of the ships he had just blown up. "Well, I got my revenge on Cerberus! And only a thousand or so soldiers, a hundred krogan, and a _ton _of Cerberus scientists and soldiers were harmed in the making of this explosion. All in all, a pretty good job" Aaron said, laughing like a maniac as he lifted the ship off of the meteor, taking off back to Illium.

Present time, _Normandy _messhall

"And that's is one of the many reasons Cerberus wants to turn me into their next giant, mutated killer krogan" Aaron said, receiving varying stares from everyone. "You stole… all of the krogan's ryncol?" Garrus asked. Aaron shrugged. "Well, there's a reason they all hate me, I basically stole all of their booze" Shepard was shaking his head, muttering, "No wonder the Illusive Man didn't want to tell me how you blew up his base" Aaron staitened in his seat, looking at Shepard with rage-filled eyes. "When did you talk with him?" he asked Shepard slowly. "Before I came here, through the briefing room's holo projector, why?"

"…You think I coud have a word with him?"

"No!" Shepard said quickly. The Illusive Man was already upset at having Aaron on his ship. The last thing he needed was a rage-induced Aaron yelling at the man for blowing his apartment up, and the Illusive Man yelling at Aaron for blowing the base up, and whatever else Aaron had ever done to Cerberus. But there was one thing he wanted to get straight with Aaron. "What was that about killing those soldiers?" Shepard asked. "You heard me when I said it, why?"

"And you just killed them like that?"

"Jesus Shepard, your not gonna bark at me for killing all of those soldiers, are you?"

"Damn right I am, what gives you a right to kill those soldiers?"

"Shepard, in my old life, I was a member of the Saints, which became the best street gang on Earth, the Boss became the freaking president, for crying out loud! Plus there was that whole S.T.A.G incident, I killed military then, I'll kill 'em now. I don't see why I can't"

"It's imoral! Killing inocent soldiers like that…!"

"'Innocent'? Tell me Shepard, at the battle of Shanxi, how many 'innocent' turians died at the hands of those soldiers? And how many humans died because of the turians?"

"That's not the point! Your just changing the subject!"

"Oh, am I!? How many people outside of your crew believed the reapers were coming? I would think you had a grudge against the Alliance too!"

"That doesn't excuse your systematic murder!"

"There's some fine points your glossing over there, buddy"

"Oh, really? Like what?"

"You know why I threatened the Alliance in the first place? I got one answer: They hate me"

"What?"

"Every council race has a grudge against me: The slarians, they want to study me and find a way to apply my powers to their STG soldiers, even though I kep telling them it was impossible. The turians, because they want to rip my weapons apart and manufactur them for themselves, even though these things are made of pixels to and is also impossible. The asari, because… well, that's my fault I guess because I hunt their justicars for their eezo. And I'm pretty sure someone bribed Udina, possible Cerberus, and even though he's just an ambassodor, he's still getting the corrupt human military to get on me. You know why I threatened them? Because they all had their own agendas, and threatened to kill me. So I retorted. And they sent spectres after me. Which I killed"

"You killed spec-!"

"Don't even start with it, Shepard! You know whatm rhe entire council is corrupt, everything is corrupt! Look, here's some advice. One day, one of those damn races, maybe all of them, will show you their true colors. And when that day comes, just because you're a spectre, your gonna blindly follow them, even though it's wrong. I pray that you'll see what your doing is wrong at that moment and stop, before it's too late. If not, well… I guess I'll have to stop that myself"

"Enough!" Everyone yelled, startking the two arguing men. "This is pointless, Shepard, plus if you guys yell any louder, Joker's bones'll shatter" Garrus said, madibles flaring. Aaron threw up his arms and yelled, "Fine! Ugh, I'm mad now… hey Shepard, where are we going after Purgatory?"

"Tuchanka to recruit that krogan, why?"

"How about you just drop me off at that prison ship and I get Jack while you go to Tuchanka, and when you get your krogan you pick us up. How about that?" Aaron asked, hunching his shoulders. "Why on Earth would I do that?"

"To save time? I thought human colonies were on the line here, and collectors were abducting more everyday?"

"I can't just send you in there alone, that'd be reckless"

"How about this: You'll be walking into a trap. Think about it. It's a prison ship that, and get ready for this one kids, illegaly sells prisoners, and don't ask how I know that, because you should know by now that I know everything illegal in this galaxy. Plus it's crawling with Blue Suns mercs, like that isn't a dead givaway something bad will happen. They wouldn't pass up a chance to capture and make a profit off of the great 'hero of the Citadel'. It'd be worse if I came with you, considering the Blue suns would open fire on me immediately. So I'm saying this: Drop me off when it's in sight, a go over there, bust Jack out, you get your krogan, adding two teammates for the price of the one, it's a win-win. What do you say?" Shepard had to think about this one. He didn't trust Aaron, especially to get someone as dangerous as Jack. But he did have a point: There would most likely would be a shootout, and in the process, the prison ship would likely be destroyed. And knowing Aaron, he'd likely blow the place up anyway when he was done.

Either way, it seemed like the outcome involved the end of Purgatory.

Shepard sighed, waving his hand. "Fine. You can get Jack, but I need that biotiv alive, hear me?"

"Siryessir!" Aaron shouted in a mocking voice, throwing up a mock salute, causing everyone to groan. "Aw, you guys don't have any sense of humor. Joker, get us close enough to Purgatory that you can see it, but they can't see us, I'll just fly over"

"Uh… sure thing, Aaron…" Joker said over the comm. "What are you planning?" Shepard asked. "Oh, you'll see. And you will enjoy" Aaron said with a smirk, but then frowned, his hand shooting out to his side and seemingly closing around nothing, faint gagging being heard. "Oh, and the last person to try and use that stealth shit on me got her head shoved up a turian's ass. And that guy's head shoved up an elcor's ass. By then I just vaporized them" Aaron said, the faint form of Kasumi shivering into reality, Aaron using his dark eezo to disrupt the stealth field. "…You remind me too much of Kinzie" Aaron declared, throwing her aside as he briskly walked away. Kasumi groaned and held her throat. "What was his problem?" the usually giddy kleptomaniac asked. "We ask ourselves that everyday" Garrus answered.

A couple of hours later, Aaron was standing on top of the purple _Normandy_, looking at Purgatory from the distance, pressing the buttons on his glasses, his Saints armor forming on him in a flash of light. "Okay, here goes nothing" Aaron said to nobody in particular, jumping off of the ship and gliding towards the space prison.

Joker and Shepard watched as Aaron flew towards Purgatory, their mouths hanging open. "Is he… flying towards the prison?" Shepard asked. "Yeah… hey Shepard, Aaron has a positive sanity report on him, right?"

"Just fly the ship, Joker" Shepard said as the ship sped off.

Aaron was walking through the halls of Purgatory now, two guards trailing guns on him. He wasn't actually in danger. He was just letting the guards take him to the Warden for the heck of it. After he had reached the prison, he had snuck in the ventillation shafts, and after setting his plan up, fell asleep in a vent. He didn't know for how long, but eventually a guard found him, and now he was being escorted by a human Blue Suns merc and a turian merc. "So… how has your days been?" Aaron asked the merc. The turian shoved his rifle at his back, shouting, "Keep moving!"

"Alright, alright, jeez…" Aaron sighed as they rounded the hall, he saw a turian sporting a revnant, flanked by a dozen or so more mercs. "You must be the Warden" Aaron guessed. "You assume correct. And you must be Aaron" the Warden asked, causing Aaron to nod his helmeted head, due to never taking the armor off. "Heh, well, I don't know why you're here, but when I sell you off, it'll be the biggest payday anyone can dream of. The only question is who to sell you to…"

"Before you do that, you know in those old spy movies from a hundred or whatever years ago where the good guy does something to flip the badguy off right before he dies?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Well, this isn't one of those moments, because I get to live" Aaron said, raising a detonator. Aaron was surprised the mercs didn't take his weapons away. Then again, he put the lazor razor hilt and detonator in a pouch at his waist, so they probably didn't know he had weapons. The Warden's eyes widened, and he motioned for the mercs to shoot Aaron. They did, not all but most of the rounds going through him. And when he said through, he meant _through_. The bullets went clean through him, killing the mercs in fron of the bullets, leaving only the Warden and Aaron alive, blue pixel-like objects healing Aaron's wounds. "…You should _really _hire better merc next time. Oh, wait…" Aaron said as he took his sword out, cutting the turian in half. "Your dead. Wait, I can make a better one, uh… there won't be a next time! No, um, er… godamnit, I messed up the one-liner!" Aaron yelled, hitting the detonator, causing the C4 he planted to explode, and causing the control room where he planted about twelve C4 to malfunction, causing all of the prisoners cell doors to open, causing a mass-scale riot. "Alright Aaron, you freed the prisoners, now to bust Jack out" Aaron muttered to himself as he ran down the hall, looking down as the mercs and mechs struggled to subdue the mercs. He saw one bald woman with way too many tattoos effortlessly blast away everyone-including the prisoners- with biotics. "That must be her! Wait… _her_? Jack a chick? That's kind of an important fact to say, Illusive Man!" Aaron yelled at the ceiling as he sprinted after Jack, cutting down everyone that got in his way. After a few minutes of chopping, he reached the hallway leading to the hangar, seeing Jack blast away a couple of Blue Suns mercs. "Hey, yo! Jack!" Aaron yelled, skidding to a stop a few feet from her. "What the hell do you want?" she asked aggressively. "Hey, I'm the guy that just busted you out, so be cool"

"Your responsible for this breakout?"

"Yeah, I knda… you know, blew everything up to bust you out"

"Screw that! I'm not going with anyone, especially with someone that has piss-poor armor like that"

"Hey, it's either you come with me, or a freeze you"

"I'd like to see you try" Jack said, firing a warp shot at Aaron… causing him to sigh and absorb the ball of eezo. "What the fuck? Just die!" Jack shouted, sending a shockwave at Aaron… causing him to absorb that too. "I don't know if this is important, but I absorb eezo, so you can't really effectively use biotics against me. Also, I don't like you mouth, so I'm just gonna freeze you now" Aaron said, firing an ice blast at a protesting Jack, freezing her solid.

"When the _Normady _arrived, Aaron stopped leaning against the wall and whitsling and picked a frozen Jack up, carrying her to the cargo bay. When he set her down next to some crates, Shepard and Garrus came up to him, shocked looks on her faces. "Aaron… what did you do?" Shepard asked slowly. "What? She wouldn't come with me, so I figured, if she can handle getting frozen once, she can handle it again"

"I can see the logic in that" Garrus said. "Ugh, fine, can you thaw her out?"

"Maybe later, when she cools down"

"I think she's cool enough" Garrus said. "Don't you have calibrating to do?" Aaron asked. Garrus's eyes widened as he ran out, and Aarron picking Jack up. I'll put her in the medbay and thaw her out there, if that makes you happy, but I think I'll wait 'till we get away from Purgatory, nostalgia purposes and all that. That good?" Shepard just shook his head and sighed as he followed Aaron to the medbay.

Aaron and Shepard were in the _Normady's _medbay now, said stealth ship on it's way to Horizon. Apparently while the Normandy was on it's way to pick Aaron up, the Illusive man had contacted Aaron, saying that the colony had been hit by the collectors… which Aaron had yet to be filled in on what they were. Sure he had heard rumors about them during his time as a space gangster, but he never really looked into it. "So, how did the krogan go?" Aaron asked as he slowly thawed Jack out using a jet of fire coming from his hand. "Well, he died, but fortunately the old man had a tank-bred pure-gene krogan nicely wrapped up for us, he's in the cargo bay"

"Wait, is the thing still in the tank?"

"Yeah, I was hoping you could, maybe… wake him up"

"…Ugh, fine, but if the first thing he does is charge me, I'm knocking him out and you can talk to him, because if we have a conversation, well, let's just say the dead krogan will have been of better use. Hey, is it me, or are those glowing scars of yours getting bigger?" Aaron asked upon seeing the glowing orange sacrs on Shepard's face bigger than Aaron had last saw them. "I haven't really noticed a change. Chakwas said that she can permanently fix them, but between the upgrades I'm giving the ship and weapon and armor upgrades, I don't really think it's wise to spend resources to fix cyber scars on my face"

"I guess man, but I think those thing are having a negative comeback on you"

"How so?"

"Well, ever since Cerberus revived you, you've been… I guess the simplest word would be evil. I mean, the Shepard that saved the Citadel was a hero, solving everyones problems as peacefully as possible. Then I start hearing weird things about you when I come back. Things like giving a scared-and-out-of-his-mind quarian to Cerberus, electrocuting a batarian behind his back, when you were recruiting Mordin, denying a dying batarian medicine and letting that doctor guy die… Shepard, you've changed"

"Have not"

"You say that, but is it really true? Look bro, maybe Cerberus did something to you, maybe being spaced knocked somthin' in your brain around, I dunno, not really my place to judge, just… keep the temper in control, okay?" Shepard's face grew in anger and he stepped up to Aaron. "Now look here Aaron, I don't know what your implying, but-" the rest of his sentence was cut off as Jack came awake after being thawed out… the first thing she commited being throwing Shepard through the medbay window using biotics, and jumping through the hole and lifting a scared-and-confused crewmwmber off the ground. "You have five seconds to tell me where the fuck I am!" Jack yelled through gritted teeth. "Yo Jack, look, I know your confused right now, but- Shepard, what the hell are you doing!?" Aaron asked upon Shepard taking a pistol out and shooting Jack in the leg, causing her to cry out in pain and drop the crewmember on the table. "She was about to kill a part of my crew. Aaron, can you subdue her biotics for the time being?" Shepard asked coldy. Aaron sighed and nodded his head, swearing that he saw one of Shepard's orange sacrs growing by about half a centimeter before he jumped through the hole, putting his hand on a swearing Jack's face as he drained the eezo from her. He didn't drain enough to kill her, just to make it so she wouldn't have the energy to even channel biotics for the time being. "Okay, she's drained, and good thing the medbay's a foot away. You calm her down while I wake the krogan up" Aaron said, throing his hands up as he walked to the elevator. "Wait, were is the krogan?" Aaron asked shepard from across the bay. "Cargo bay!" Shepard yelled back. Aaron nodded, hitting the button to go down.

After asking the two engineers-who Aaron assumed were Irish- Aaron found the liquid and krogan-filled pod in a cargo room. "Okay, so what, I chuck a grenade at it or something?" Aaron asked before a hologram of a blue, spherical object popped up from one of the wall terminals to the side, startling Aaron. "Agh! Oh jeez, your EDI, the A.I., right?"

"That is correct, Aaron" the female-sounding A.I. said through a monotone voice. "Oh, okay, can you open this?" Aaron asked, gesturing to the tube. "Are you sure? I strongly advise-"

"EDI, you realize I cut a reaper apart, right?"

"Affirmitve"

"Then I'm pretty sure I can handle a roid-rage krogan. Now can you please open the pod?"

"…As you wish, Aaron" EDI complied, the glass-half of the pod opening, liquid and a coughing krogan clad in white armor with blue light spilling on the floor. The krogan looked up at Aaron with his blue eyes… before he charged Aaron, said virtual being sighing and punching the krogan in the face, sending him into a wall and denting it, knocking the krogan out while his body was stuck in the dent in the wall. "Well, I told Shepard I would do that if he charged me…" Aaron sighed as he headed to the elevator.

After telling Jack she was on a Cerberus ship-which caused more thrashing while she was restrained in a chair- and promising her to look at Cerberus files pertaining to Jack, she agreed to serve on the ship… dubbing Miranda a 'Cerberus Bitch' while doing so. So Shepard was heading to the elevator while Chawas healed Jack's leg- Jack punching Shepard in the gut for shooting her- in order to talk with the krogan. The elevator opened before Shepard reached it and Aaron walked through. "So how did it go?" Shepard asked. "Um, well, he's unconscious on account of charging me. So your going to have to talk to him. I'd bring a shotgun though" Aaron said as Shepard sighed and walked into the elevator as it headed for the cargo bay. Aaron shrugged, and figuring Shepard could handle a krogan on his own, headed to the armory. Garrus had metioned something about having a CAIN stashed somewhere, and the last time Aaron saw one of those, he used it to blow up a Cerberus platoon, and he wanted to see the gun for himself.

After all, you never know when your gonna need gun that fires slugs equivilant to a small nuke.

** A/N- Yeah, so bad news is that this is even shorter than the last chapter due to this being a good place to stop considering what I have in mind. Good news is I'm 42% sure this came out a lot sooner than the last one. And if you haven't guessed, I'm using a renegade shepard. Trust me, it'll make more sense considering the things I have planned, you'll see. Oh, and before I go, I'm taking this story into ME3 too. So we're only, like, 15 to 20 % percent done with this thing. Ish. Point is I made a new years revolution to write more, and I sorta made that dream come true!**

**On a totally unrelated side note, I'm seeing all the mistakes in my other fic, and I have got to do some MAJOR edit/fixing to mistakes and just general errors I made… uh, we all make mistakes? Cya… -sniff-…**


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